2012: NOV. 28-DEC.21 ROME-MIAMI TRANSATLANTIC

TRANSATLANTIC TRIP ROME TO FT. LAUDERDALE PLUS SOUTH BEACH, FLA.

WED. November 28-29 San Diego to Rome.

Lets find the phrase “juste”. A life without complications is not worth living? How about . . . It Doesn't exist.

Sooo . . . delightful Don comes by 6:45 am.

We Unburden as much last minute property management info as we can in order to instead burden Don whilst we take this holiday. The Don Box is full of stuff- checks, signature stamps, rent rolls, deposit slips, nosegays. But I keep thinking we've forgotten something. He whisks us to Terminal 1 in 10 minutes and it's good we're early -- TIP. Arrive 2+ hours early and avoid the lines--because our flight to San Francisco is delayed (fog). TIP Avoid AM flights to SF - or LA - if possible -- and we are rerouted to Chicago. Then after comfortably ensconcing our selves in the gate waiting area, we remember what we've forgotten.

Yikes. Ring ring. There's Don pulling up to the curb where Reuel has been waiting for him, with the almost abandoned -- but necessary for this winter trip -- leather jackets.

(Someone's getting a healthy Xmas bonus this year.) And Reuel must reprise the dreaded security ritual pre- embarkation this time with precious jackets in hand. The adventure has surely begun.

Woman with doggy in a bag. Zip. Out pops the little head to be caressed. However I wouldn't be happy if I were a dog in a bag. It's going to be tough enough sitting in economy class, albeit in an aisle seat. Boyz in a bag.

To Chicago: film LIBERAL ARTS. Touchy/feely academia romance between 19 and 35 years old except she, the younger, looks 30. Really about his maturation, explorations accidental and otherwise, understanding the idea of getting older. Works finally. Wouldn't on the Big Screen.

Seats actually comfortable on this UA flight.

Discover Parks and recreation. Fun. Realize these trips offer an opportunity to catch up on missed . . . Shlock. Hey there’s value in that. Bob sees a particularly funny Frazier. After 24 days, we’ll return to suddenly all the more endurable day/night MSNBC and daily “Will Hilary Run in 2016???, Will Barack succeed in 2nd term?” But for now it's The Tony Curtis Story. (I notice Bob in seat in front of me succumbing to this one.) But we arrive only up to Tony's divorce with Janet Leigh before it's tables up and landing in Chicago. (Wonder how it ends.)

Discoveries at immense O'hare. The International aircraft leaves from UA domestic so not much traversing required. Chicago junk food is fun- mini deep dish and a hot dog. Toilets have automatic replaceable plastic seat covers. Will wonders never . . . (Ya had to be there). Bob, informed of this, opines that Chicago may be America's greatest city.

Not sure who really owns this giant plane, though pretty sure we'll pay for the booze they serve. But the trip cost only $74 (mileage plus rules!) so no biggee.

Anyway interrupt the latest BOURNE LEGACY movie to get charged for only one of my 2 scotches. Same for Bob and his wines. . . . got buzzz.

Of Bourne, moves but confusing, don't know what's at stake, who the baddies are. Much enjoyed the original Bournes with Damon. Chicken dinner really good.

Comeuppance when we embark in Frankfurt: my extra plane wine bottle is confiscated. Giant Germanic airport maze to navigate. Love their accents.

We luck out. In no part of our flying did we need to sit next to anyone. And in this last lap--Frankfurt to Rome--we have a row to ourselves.

I call our hotel to alert the driver that it is taking an hour for us to retrieve our luggage (we wondering if the Italian luggage handlers are on strike, as so frequently occurs in this ditz-land). But our driver is there smiling, offering us his umbrella as he whisks our luggage through the rainy streets to the awaiting SUV. Ride takes an hour so though plane arrived at 2, we're at the hotel by 4, in a charming, small room, large bathroom, no view. Quietness enough for a brief nap.

The hotel supplies the umbrellas (to the chagrin of the young man selling them under the entry canopy). So here we are a block away at the impossibly elegant Exelsior Hotel's bar lounge (we know good neighborhoods) drinking Belvedere martinis and noshing on their antipasti, olives, nuts, Cheese, prosciutto and salmon on toasts. Hey it's dinner. At 60 euros still a lovely evening. Our favorite thing, posh hotel bars. And the Exelsior--well! Then a night-walk around the Via Venito, its outdoor cafes, some of whom we insist we've dined at in past--Harry's Bar most pertinently.

Ambien's good for at least 5 hours of sleep.

FRI NOV 30 ROME

Terrific breakfast of the all you can eat kind. Bob unhappy with his iPhone reception finally relinquishes it in favor of our essaying as many sights as we can in this single full day in Rome. These, all within 20 minute radius of our little hotel, include:

Spanish steps

Via condotti

Piazza del popoli

Santa Maria dei miracoli church

Maria in trivia (pics on ceiling) church

Trevi fountain

Santo Vincenzo e Anastasio church

Santa Maria sopra Minerva church

Pantheon

Basilica D'eustacio

Pizza Navona

Church of St. Ignayius de Loyola (in Bob's favorite square)

(We go for baroque -- heh heh)

Piazza Colona - Hadrians column (and all that jazz)

And for pranza (lunch) it's Antica Enoteca near the Spanish steps. We dined there with Beth 2 years ago and loved it. They prepare an antipasti plate for us - excellent selection which we dip with with olive oil & balsamic vinegar -- accompanying our Clemente Vii Chianti. (Our server offers a rare opportunity to take a long leisurely lunch. Bob says "Its nice being in a country where you can drink the water and know that if you eat the food you won't get travelers virus." (Our last trip being the wonderful albeit almost fatal Peru and Ecuador.)

For a secundi there’s palenta with spare rib and sausage and a fettuccini with bacon.

We talk, among other much more positive things including the wonders of our far-spread travels, of farethewell friends who were fascinating but finally too self-centered to be there for us when there were darker times.

We wend our way back through now almost familiar byways (relinquishing the hotel's map in favor of Bob's miraculous sense of direction). We luck out. It's a gorgeous day despite all those warnings of rain. Bob earlier talked of his grave misgivings about spending so many hours on planes and I worry how else beside cruises we'll be able to travel so widely--as indeed we must. Dilemma or . . . Jet lag.

After a goodly nap at the hotel, we are pretty much caught up though. Bob announces that he's had knee discomfort ever since our last aerobics class--Tuesday so we'll need to be careful about walks etc. Consequently, rather than drinks at the Hassler, whose lounge we perused earlier and found acceptable as part of at least Reuel's desire to drink at the finest hotel lounges in the world if not stay at those hotels, we go round the corner to the luxe Sofitel Rome where we are the only customers, Mid East theme, view through the glass of the twinkling city below, St. Pete's overweening basilica in the distance.

Put off by the sound system freakiness, and that one couple had drinks on the actual view patio, denied to us, and that the drinks are half the size of the Excelsior's, we repair to . . . The Excelsior's wonderful lounge--we're regulars now-- and this time they implore us to try the h'ors deuvres—don’t throw me in da briar patch massa--which tonight includes caviar for Reuel, so we have doubles. It's now these lizards favorite lounge in Rome, only an olive's throw from our only one-star-rather-lesser hotel, (B says the carpet is dirty. Oops this Princess didn't mind that pea apparently) and if we can't stay here at least damnit we'll drink here. Only one other couple--2 verry fashionable Japanese ladies who chow down (too) on the h'ors deuvres--and the lounge singer who sings blandly--Peggy Lee manque- in English accompanied by some magic electronic orchestra at her fingertips--no pianistic skills required. I see a new career ahead.

TIP: When in Rome do as we've done. Have 2 drinks each (60 euros oh well) at the Excelsior and call it a night after lunch at Atica Enoteca. Perfecto.

SATURDAY DEC. 1

ROME TO ALL ABOARD

scurrying, packing, affixing tags supplied by Celebrity, quasi-gorging on Hotel Ludovis's breakfast buffet--being sure to include prunes just in case. Consummate travelers. Did we forget anything?

As soon as we enter our Mercedes limo (!) (our travel agent, funny guy named Reuel, arranged all this in advance) there begins what will be a relentless rain. Angelo our driver, full of energy and buoyant spirits, in wonderful broken English points out the historic points of intense interest "Coloseum . . . Colossal! Circus Maximus . . . Ben Hur!" Then 45 minutes later as we drive through the lush green countryside, the sun rips through the clouds and a rainbow appears; we choose to see that as damned good luck. And good luck it is as I write this from the ocean view cafe on the 14th floor (already all Oceanside seats are taken--how early did these apparently seasoned travelers actually board--having antipasti - all we've room to eat now and in anticipation of this evening's Murano dining bacchanal after our welcome aboard champagne and our 1st premium package wine drink. No receipts to sign. Yea. We'll have another. Hello my name is Reuel and I have a premium alcohol package.

Pat on the back Reuel for having forms filled out and having it together to even the surprise of the processing clerk. The drive takes only an hour and a quarter and we are on board in 15 minutes, past our welcome picture and the vendors selling packages (been there and done that one) as we leave only slightly tipsily and overhear a server mumbling "welcome to the Marigold Hotel". He got that right.

We feel like a comic duo with our comments on the passing scene. (Not necessarily those Muppet geezers thank you.) And that's half the fun.

1:15 stateroom's ready. Love it. Bob happy. Sofa closest to entry, Bed near sweet patio. Champagne and fruit in place. I think we're hooked. Then we choose all of our tours at the ports we stop at. $700 +. So I'm raising the next vacancy $45 a month. (The basement apartment--hey it's a landlord-on-vacation market) Then buy computer minutes. (That'll have to be next month's vacancy.) Too many have the same idea so Tours down, one to go and we're brain dead sailors opening champagne, Bob unpacking, half hour job, Reuel basking in the balcony sun (in defense, I offered to help. “No!”). Some day we'll do the suite-butler combo, unpacking included, one's mouth to . . . .

And in keeping with the Marigold Hotel theme, knock knock, our steward, Elton, delivering today's h'ors deuvres, has a campy Indian--don't mean Gironimo--accent.

Wonderful getting into ease until safety drill thingy in the theatre where we note large numbers (Bob estimates 10% of total) of gay gentlemen. Who needs RSVP? Is there something about a transatlantic passage that attracts “landsmen”? Anyway, we're in.

So at the computer place, a passenger helps all and sundry. Turns out he's a senior Vice President for Facebook--and decidedly gay.

So here we are at Murano, the luxe specialty restaurant, ok premium price, which because we dined last time here at the end of our cruise when we were up to our eyes in food we decided to front load, as it were.

We are offered and choose the "private dining room". Unlike Bob I have a strawberry in my lovely Pierre Joet champagne for immeasurable enrichment of the fruity flavor-whatever. Lovely breads with a pyramid shaped butter. Much negotiation with the sommelier for Oh God fabulous wines with each course. Me lobster bisque and a salmon and then salmon parfait with caviar. That To Die. As Bob understood (although the above is not his thing) I'm "kveling".

Bob tries mushroom risotto.  We note 3-5 servers per serving.

Main course filet mignonette in a puff but unusually presented. Woa.

SUNDAY DEC 2
Sleep only a few hours, should have taken an Ambien. Up at six and ready for the Express Breakfast, which is aptly named since they get you in and out. Everybody gets the same breakfast, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, Danish. We're discovering that most of the passengers are sailing veterans. Some are doing back to back cruises like the couple seated near us who were on the Egypt cruise--was supposed to stop in Israel but as she put it "they were fighting each other" so they were rerouted to Istanbul. We also discover that the ship is crawling with gay couples. Hmm.
But rather than stay on board and stare out at the uninteresting port of Livorno and attend the napkin folding class, we get ready for our Florence/Pisa tour. Actually yesterday we purchased tours for each of our stops-convenience over economy.

Luca is our energetic kinetic and charming guide who performs the comic routine of Italian hand gestures which we remember from Francesca our guide of Italy 15 or more years ago, still funny. We also toured Pisa with her then; here Luca leaves us to our own devices which is the point of an "on your own tour". We try this time as well to take photos holding or pushing up the Leaning Tower without much success this time too. Much time expended as we circumnavigate the neighboring Duomo in search of a WC, forfeiting a euro for the privilege of its blandishments.
Back on the bus Luca reminds us how great the weather in Pisa is today. Now he begins the history of Firenze, our next stop.

Italy a young country- many different cultures and dialects.
David represents freedom. The Medici. Showing off their city- gave money to artists. Republic banished them and placed David statue at city hall. When Medici returned put other statues stronger against David. This is political marketing antiquity style.

Lucci goes into detail about a restaurant he has an arrangement with in Firenze and, choosing to dine with the group, we sit with another gay couple from Atlanta, garrulous Michael and reticent Wayne. Bruschetta (not great) share lasagna and spaghetti bolognese (ok) and chocolate cake (excellent). With chianti.

City hall statues—David copy, Hercules in front of it. Peek in courtyard.
Uffici- buy tkt. maybe. Judge line.
At academy David.
10 is meeting point. Most important to visit inside later.
Best picture from end of Ufizi.
See interior of St. Michael church yellowish surrounded by statues.

Luca Misuri is our guide

Then on to 3.5 hours of touring beautiful Firenze on our own armed with a map Luca has explained.
Churches, churches, so many churches, often big barns, with frescos everywhere. Walls, ceilings. They are more museums than churches these days. My favorite square with its profusion of statues, Hercules of the amazing ass, David none too shabby. Cobblestones, pigeons, crowds even in this off-season.
Pretty much resting time on the way back with bursts of Luca's irrepressible personality with revealing bio details by this 30-year old (“I'm really 60 but the olive oil keeps my skin smooth”). Luca, practiced scoundrel, dotes on and flirts with the old ladies without offending the husbands.

MONDAY DEC 3
City of Genoa looks charming from our balcony. Like a varicored miniature.
On TV I read aloud celebrity offers Chilates classes, combining Pilates and meditation to strengthen core muscles etc. Bob says "Why don't you get ready so we can go to breakfast. " Good idea.
Sitting next to charming Hoosier couple now living in north Fla. He fat and jokey, former Seabee. I broach politics but stay out of trouble.
I order a mimosa because I can—the virtue of The Plan. Salmon omlette, Bob Greek fritata (not recommended).
We wait in the theatre (the ritual) for our Genoa City Tour group # to be called so we can disembark.

On bus I'm a hit because I've affixed my tour sticker on my forehead, to Bob's chagrin.

Armida is our guide--again good English handing out our radios.
Another lucky day for weather.

Columbus reputedly born in Genoa. Once off the bus it is strange hearing Armida in my ear. The Genoese were stingy pirates. Originally water up to the buildings here on the harbor.
Genoa made the Virgin Mary the queen in 17thc.
Can see St. Lawrence being grilled on the facade of the cathedral. Ashes of St. John here. Awe inspiring church.

On our own we discover a spectacular little church off an old plaza and discover that Genoa appears to be a very prosperous sophisticated city with chic restaurants, nice apartments for sale. I like one for 180,000 euros but for 500,000 you get balconies and such.

Terrific walking tour of the vista point above the city. Can see France, over the harbor to our ship, and overlooking the street of the palace. The shining sun mitigates the chill.

Great apts up here--86% of Italians own their own homes--11% unemployment .

Back on the ship from an absolutely super tour—discovering a surprisingly special city, Genoa.

Disappointed that the dining room is closed for lunch--guess they're giving staff s day off in Genoa--we saw them streaming out of the staff exit.

We dine, constrained to the Ocean View Cafe (read Buffet) but we've established the buffet is pretty fab and with The Card we have 3 glasses of acceptable Pinot, thank you lord. Reuel, although he offered to share, has a great view of Genoa harbor and the city climbing the hills above.

Nice nap. Just reveling in the magnificent view of Genoa from our balcony. But now to get ready for Zumba at 4.

I'm in heaven. A real Zumba instructor, . And she says that days at sea there will be two sessions. Celebrity gets another vote. Last year it was usually a wii cartoon image dancing and it often broke down. Yea! Pretty full house of dancers, skewing older of course, some neophytes, in the Sky lounge with the Panoramic views, this time sublime of Genoa but no chance to view it while watching the Instructor. A surprising number of bystanders. When I get back h'ors deuvres await.
Just in time for a required shower.

We find the Martini Bar too crowded besides there are gaggles of gay men up on the Sky Lounge as well with its great views of the city. Martinis--then down to the 7pm show. Perhaps we'll find our appetites after the show.
It’s Jump, a British quasi-dance and a cappella act with hints of Stomp and I suppose Blue Man Group, definitely not hired on the basis of their appeal to the Celebrity demographic

TUESDAY DEC 4
Up at 6; it's a tour day. 5 hours MARSEILLES CITY TOUR. Breakfast is upstairs since the dining room--no Express today--opens at 7:30.
We wait in the theatre with all the other tour groups until we dock, the gangplank's down and we are in the south of France with Lawrence (female),

The province, alps and French Riviera (Cote d'azur) region. In the middle along the coast. Supposedly Mediterranean climate though it seems rainy early on. Marseille is 50 miles from our port today, Toulon. The mistral is a strong wind that blows rain clouds away. Not yet.
Provence produces mostly rose wine. Dry, fruity wines. After protection of Rome. 9th c - hilltop villages. As we approach Marseilles, provincial fjords.
Le Corbussiers experimental apartments. We pass
fort prison where the fictional count of Monte Cristo was confined.
Basilica ahead. Dedicated to the Virgin Mary. Pilgrimage. Norte dame du garde. The bus navigates steep narrow streets. 1852 it started. Very maritime oriented (as I can see from all the pictures and boat models).

Back on bus--rear seat--our gay companions explain that there are 2 gay groups of 180 and 120 respectively, which we agree explains the predominance of gay men on this ship and why every bar on the ship, like our foray into the Sky Lounge last night, is virtually a gay bar.

After interminable edging along the narrow streets of Marseilles, there’s a brief stopover near the port to look at the Xmas market; we get fed samples of cookies and chocolates by the concessionairs and purchase a little box of chocolates (for Don) with a photo of the church we visited imprinted on the box.

A ride through the streets of Marseilles, notable for its ironwork. All in all we probably would not choose this tour again. Tied up in traffic; actually flummoxed by the bus on the narrow streets of Marseilles. Arrive late for lunch which does not favor blood sugar and temperament. We don't appreciate the wait outside to reboard the ship and once we load our plates from the buffet (dining room closed on shore days) there is no place for us to sit. We need to order our wines at the bar and, loaded with plates, utensils, and wines, we ascend to the sky lounge to find a table. The view is great and wine helps. So we take another round to our cabin. Ok we have a little tiff. Get over it.

Hard to know how to schedule this evening (hard job but someone's gotta do it) but we decide to dress up--required since it's a formal night--in our new duds--we're gorgeous. We find the martini bar and are joined by Wayne and Michael whom we met yesterday. We discover that Wayne (the black one) is a mucky muck Internist MD working for the CDC- no idea what Michael does. They went to Aix aux province today -- better choice.

Love watching people in their formals. They look very prosperous. Women really go all out. We watch two men at the bar. Clear from their body language that they can't wait to get back to their cabin and . . .

Table 538 is by the window, you can see the whites of the waves produced by the ship and the thin necklace of lights on the shore line.
We decide to continue with Domaine Champagne through dinner. Reuel loves his carpaccio appetizer. We both love our spinach salad. Really. Bob's Tournedos "Verry Good". I like my blackened salmon but not the unsubtle flavors. Bob says not possible when cooking for 3000 passengers, no matter how high end.

At the show (preceded by Captain's champagne toast) we discover that the captain has a wonderfully dry comic delivery as he introduces his officers. The show is the “Broadway” one we've seen before, which it turns out Reuel loves—the professionalism, the precision and that Slav dancer. Bob is quite less enamored.
It’s a late night but it takes a while to settle into sleep.


WED DEC 5 BARCELONA
Late start. Elaborate explanation on use of audio tour iPod and wait for transfer bus where we squeeze in.
Ramblas
Church that was a synagogue
Jewish community (the Call)
Wore distinctive capes
Persecuted
M oldest synagogue
Basilica Santa Maria de pi

Bob is hit in the crotch with soccer ball by playing children in Square Neri which contains a school among its antiquities. Fortunately the kid has no future in the big leagues so “No lasting harm done”.
Placa del rei
The Cathedral

"Freddy" our auto tour guide does a good job and we are pleased.

I try to use my e-translator to ask how much to the pier. I don't understand the cabbies' confusion until I realize it is still in English to Italian mode. Funny. Pleasant handsome cabby--Spanish men can be dashing. No dashing for us thanks to taxi and needing to wait for the bus to the port.

Back at 3 in time for a slice of pizza and a glass of wine. And Zumba. Exhausted. Nap. Funny Long Islandt 4-some sit across from us in the Martini Bar. Turns out we really enjoy them, new yorrk new jerseyans. We exchange tales. Nice. They can't believe we're in our 70's.
The entertainer in the theatre is a Brit singer, Jayne, who is quite good. She has a comic patter focusing on her fatness and shortness. "I don't want to keep you. It's been 3 hours since you've last eaten." "They say you gain 2 pounds a day on a cruise. I've been on 30 cruises this year."
Dinner: Me polenta w mushrooms, quite nice indeed. Bob Spanish turnover. Of course we now have Domaine Chandon champagne for starters. Last night it sufficed repeatedly and admirably for the evening.



THURSDAY DEC 6
Busy schedule for our at 1st sea day.
7: Stretch - Russian young man
7:30 Core
Bob does treadmill in the meantime.

Breakfast in the Aqua Spa cafe--fruit, cereal, yogurt parfait

10: Zumba --by the outdoor pool so chilly at first. There’s a big turnout including Wayne and Michael neophytes who insist they will follow me (positioned in the first row) as a "pro".

11:30 Geology lecture with a San Diego State professor
Glass of chard doesn't help to keep me alert
Earth as hard boiled egg
Oldest ocean rocks are in the Mediterranean
Africa is ramming into Europe

Quite informative and worthwhile though I'm not sure I'll pass the midterm.
Just enough to close eyes for 15 minutes before heading back to the Theatre for--

1: Harry Murphy on Hollywood & The Movies: Shadows on the Wall:

A big big talk about himself
Stars who have met the test of time
"We go into the dark in order to see the light."
1895 lumiere bros. introduce a new art form
Most entertaining lecture on early history of film from silents, to major earlier developments including sound and color. Good slides and film snippets from Edison's dancing guys to Singin In The Rain's spoof about the transition to sound.

"Battle of the Sexes to the left gentlemen, and Bingo to the right" but we choose lunch at The Porch--a little restaurant atop the ship. Potato soup, hits the spot especially with the chill in the air, philly's (paninis-- perfectly ok) and a coupla Pinot noirs (very ok).
Film--Reuniting the Rubens? Nope.
Not getting the Internet on my iPhone is a concern--not even conceivable last year however .

Zumba very crowded at 4 but I’ll be damned if I won't do it.

5:30. Gibraltar-- well some say its a non-event. But that rock which we pass while it’s still almost daylight is somewhere somehow important. Wayne informs me that even more interesting is that we are looking at the 2 continents Europe and Africa which is harder to photograph than the rock but is an exciting idea nevertheless. Bob says we've done this before when we approached Lisbon on the Silverseas cruise. Ok.

Martini bar. Two martinis. Well it's a great "happening" and beautifully designed bar. The bartender juggles glasses and pours large ones. What's better?

Then we repair to a lecture on the Tenerife islands the last land stop. Lots of slides.

A mentalist is the big show this evening. Bob not impressed. Reuel enjoys his display of prowess though not pleased the performer said he's not a psychic. How else to explain his awareness of private issues in random audience members?

Upstairs meatballs sliced-pizza and Pinot. Great day.

FRI DEC 7
We're up at 6 so we can prep for gym. This morning I do it right. 6:40 claim my strategic place (mat, towel, card) in the gym studio, and then do 1/2 mile on the elliptical machine. Then 1/2 hour stretch + 1/2 hour crunch classes before (probably eradicating the previous benefits) lox and bagel breakfast in the Oceanview cafe.

10 AM Zumba poolside. I take a front row center position-a big responsibity with 65 participants--people, Wayne and Michael and woman in particular, saying they'll follow me. I say please follow the instructor. Actually Jamie is quite good--guest man with camera gets on stage behind her and photographs her ass. It’s quite windy.

11: AM - a little late for volcano lecture "Canary Islands".
Reduction of pressure causes volcanic eruptions. El Tiede in Tenerife 2nd tallest mountain in world. Canary is volcanic. Tsunami-sheet of water- danger not height but period of time. Bigger the event, the rarer. Abandon your belongings (and other advice) should one occur.

Leaves us disquieted as we head for . . .

12: Lunch in Grand Cuvée. Me Balinese Satay & Beef skewers. (Bob: "a winner") Dip in peanut sauce. On a pineapple fritter. delish. Iceberg lettuce (but nice because has cucumber, artichoke etc.) Pork loin braised in sour kraut & pea mush. Good. Bob also the pesto turkey panini. "Even better than yesterday's". And cinnamon ice cream (ordered but not received as we need to rush off to the next event.)
Accompanied by a very satisfying Celebrity's own master cellar cab blend. The sommelier keeps topping us off--the joy of the "package".
Our server is Pralhad from Nepal. They wear badges indicating their native countries which is neat considering the internationality of the crew.
I LOVE cruising.

1: "Fabulous Females In Film" Film lecture - fun.

MMonroe married at 16 so as not to go back to orphanage.
She was Olivier's boss on Prince and . . .

4: Zumba in Sky lounge. I'm 20 minutes early to stake my claim in front but I chat with Wayne and Michael and soon there are little girls in front of me and a squat accented woman almost touching me to whom I say I hope I won't bump you to which she replies she can't dance on the carpeted area (to the side) because she has some sort of 5 syllable disease. I "sounds terrible” "Oh it is it is” try to constrict my movements. And the ship is listing here and there.
Shower as I do after each Zumba. Not only to clean the sweaty man but relax his sore muscles.

Then Bob and I struggle with Internet as we try to placate a tenant unhappy that we are scheduled to install custom shutters in her unit today. Ungrateful b****.

6:15 chic martini bar -- busy as always serving us lovely Belvederes.

7: Beatles tribute show. Wayne and Michael sit next to us and seem to be enjoying the show wildly as does the audience. We on the other hand are unimpressed. "Not much is expected by these audiences," says Bob. The Beatles manqué at San Diego summer pops were much better. 3 middle Aged guys going thru the motions and one kid playing George Harrison. Nostalgia and audience participation does it I suppose.

8:15 Dinner après show and shaking to rhythms in the main court. Next table asks our opinion of show. I, impolitic, give it and woman gets very defensive. No further conversation with them but Domaine Chandon enhances our privacy.
Snapper appetizer. Nice. Bob. Summer roll- flavorful.
Gazpacho - not what expected. Fruity tropical. Quite nice on those terms however.
Our main dishes Reuel-- prime rib- not writing home about it. B chicken Chiquita- a stuffed chicken breast but not stuffed with enough of the tropical ingredients, e.g. pineapple, promised.
Thinking, the general dining room cuisine doesn't measure up to our last Celeb cruise- where the celeb fleet exec chef was aboard.
Not pleased with our sommelier. Not pouring freely the way the others did.
Desserts are always good aboard so the chocolate sort of moussey cake passes muster along with that lovely late harvest Riesling. Sommelier sort of forgiven.

9:15 film "Bernie" in smaller theatre with Jack Black as a mild/mannered companion to Shirley MacLaine, demanding and mean wealthy widow, whom he befriends and then shoots. Wonderful characterization of small town personalities. Very enjoyable.


SAT DEC 8

Usual 7-8am stretch - abs with the lanky young Russian. I like his accent and dry sense of humor.

Late breakfast in the dining room. Bloody Mary. Very Nice. Salmon omelette, bagel and tea.

Tenerife, Canary Islands. Beautiful as we approach. A colorful city rising up against the mountains and a volcano. Warm weather, lovely day.

Daniella is our guide. Thick accent. 30 mins to Porto de la Cruz, north of island.
At port very distinctive symphony building. Comment on bus behind our seats "It's too modern for me."

This largest of the 7 Canary Islands. (2 million inhabs on all islands)-- 2 harbors, 2 ports. Santa Cruz is capital. Very close to Africa , 60 miles. Never rains. No rivers or streams. "If u want to clean your stomach for free, drink the water."
2 1/2 hours from Madrid. Most tropical area of Europe. Therefore different people. Don't pay taxes to Spain. "Difference between mango and manga? Manga is the wife. "(Actually bigger and better.) They sell flowers to Holland. All buildings stucco. Very little wood on islands.

We stop for an hour in de la cruz. Though it sports beautiful coastal volcanic rock formations creating natural pools, it is built for tourism, with tourist plazas, shops, restaurants, and a couple of uninspiring Tenerife tshirts (6E each and thusly change is expended) for R and B. Hey we exercise with emblems of internationalism.

Another stop, San Pedro. Remarkably picturesque. Consequently take pictures.

One of 3 best observation points for skies since it is so clear ( the others Hawaii, Chile). Of course we won't be around at night. Looks like a good highway system around the island, 2 X 2-lanes at one point, far better than Hawaii's or the also-picturesque but more perilous coastal southern Italy. Yes, all in all, some spectacular scenery as we circumnavigate the north island, especially the lush jagged mountains, curious shapes, which silhouette the smart apartment buildings, many of which are futuristically designed, like the symphony hall, more interesting I think than Sydney's opera house, (but drat I couldn't take a clear picture of it. Oh well, the memory will need to preserve the image--quite an admission, I know.)

Back on board, this time without much ado, we find the Oceanview cafe for alas some pizza, meatballs, and antipasti - Oy x 2 - and a couple of Pinot x 2. Then Reuel to the Internet cafe (lotta cafes around here) to see with some struggle that there are no business issues beyond those Don has apprised us of.

Nap-- Bath robed Bob nicely relaxed with Mr. Nook in bed--and then I spread out on the balcony for that mild temperature and incredible harbor view.

Another place we'll not visit again, but nice to say (to whom?) of course darling we intimately know the lovely Canary Islands off the coast of Africa, doesn't anyone?

As the ship moves from its moorings here, the sun lowers behind those fabulous mountains and they darken in relief against the sky. Separate clusters of homes on the valleys of the mountains are now lighted up and, as Bob puts it, each like a Village under a Christmas tree.

We're rested and maybe not quite in shape for cocktails but we descend to one of the more beauteous bar lounges, glowing in shades of brown with filigreed columns, comfortable armchairs in nooks, Michaels Club, for our Belvedere martinis. A Bob Dylanesque singer on guitar warbling familiar songs of love and loss. And then a jazz trio with integrity, piano, drums, bass. Holy shit. Reminds me of Birdland on Broadway in the 50's. "Our kind of place", says Bob, even before this musical extra perk massages our sensibilities, "A dark clubby and posh hotel bar--vaguely British."


SUNDAY DEC 9

At stretch /crunch this morning Nick--the other Slav phys therapist--says after class go to pool. They'll say "Look at his abs". From the look of the class, highly doubtful but we're all, none youngsters, giving it our all.
I dry my Zumba "costume" including drenched undergarment on the balcony because it is so warm and sunny. Finally got a "you're fabulous " this from klutzy but glad to be alive Greek lady who settled next to me in front row. Later , in the evening, at Martini Bar I will discover that she is British and Jewish (was present at first night Hanukah service) and loves the gay boys since she comes over to smooze with us as she and I talk of, what else, Zumba (and not observing Hanukah).

Passengers stake claims earlier and earlier for the exercise classes each day so I wind up, at the pool, getting an Xtra 15 minutes of dance because Zumba music plays pre class.
Meanwhile Bob attends a lecture on climate change. Yes, it's real.

I'm Really enjoying our balcony. May not be so convivial in the ensuing days but for now . . . .

As we sit most contentedly at our luncheon table this time near the kitchen (fascinating choreography--this ship is scary in its efficiency--3 managers, one rather thugish, stops by to enquire of our level of lunch satisfaction; do we dare to answer no? Bob says if they drop dishes on me, we'd get trips for life. I stick my head and body out hopefully.

Carry my pinot noir to the Film lecture: “Cool actors”. As always since we are buffs a lot of this stuff we know, but always a friendly subject. He features Eastwood, Newman, Connery, Nicholson, McQueen
Possibilities for future, he opines, are Daniel Craig; Clooney; McConnoughy;

It's Sunday so we catch opinion shows and Meet The Press. Gay Marriage before the Supreme Court is an issue. Someday. . . .

4: and it's Zumba in the sky lounge--I have space in front for the first time so I can dance more expansively. Bob comes up to take a photo of me dancing. Memorialized for my obsession.

Formal night so we can comment on the attire of the denizens of the martini bar. Jaime, Z instructor, sits near us with a girlfriend. (?) (Later she claims it’s her sister—but there is speculation.)

Din din . Domaine Chandon champagne. Our sommelier says we must finish it before our merlot. Reuel steak tartar. Wonderful. Bob mushroom vol Au vu. Good. Lobster bisque--we love. Almost a shock, the lobsterness of it.
Our wonderful Philopeno sommelier knows us and has jokes enough for us to kill the champagne bottle and "you pace ourselves" and "if you don't finish, I'll have the rest" of our merdoc bottle with the main course. He knows his and our program, this charming enabler. Chatobriand, beefy (guess that's the idea), works.
Bob orders some sort of Bombe which is the 1st thing on menu. He likes. My cheesecake is not at all conventional-- a little gelatinous-- nevertheless very very good indeed.
We've established that the pastry chef is A+.

We opt for the Late Show, that is 10:30, when vulnerable seniors should be tucked in their beds.  It’s tough to keep our eyes open though Reuel enjoys these package “Broadway” type extravaganzas with aerialists etc and The Slav (ahem). Bob has begun to ask about this strange fixation so, Diary dear, lets cool it (as if).
Then on to Sky deck for chocolates, port and jazz music.
How sad that we are having THE MOST F****** WONDERFUL TIME.


MONDAY DEC 10.

I have The Tall and skinny slav instructor this morning, dedicated "to Verk de Abs." Pilates looks interesting right after; maybe I'll give it a try one day. But it's off to the main dining room for a Bloody Mary breakfast-also including Bob’s Spanish omelette, (but next time he'll request the salsa), grilled tomato and whole wheat toast. Reuel the smoked salmon, cream cheese and bagel (me likee).
Still wonderfully pleasiant out on our balcony. Warm, sunny. Yesterday the captain announced that our crossing would be relatively calm too. There's a Decided rolling motion though but not at all unpleasant. Babes being rocked in mother natures arms.

On the other hand as soon as we arrive at the pool deck for Zumba--Bob will peel off for the geology lecture on the ice age which he enjoys less than the others--too college class-like-there's 5 minutes of rain and wind and much confusion about where or whether Zumba will be held. Though it quickly clears up and the crew is frantically drying off the deck, a truncated Zumba occurs in the galleria dance floor on the main deck.

Writing this while lying on our balcony where once again all is sunny and warm. The captain on his 10am announcement pronounces that we in fact have been given "a gift" of calm seas ahead (with the small exception of today). If this is the worst of it, December's Atlantic is indeed presenting a lovely holiday present.

We find that it's too windy at The Porch restaurant (where they serve paninis) on the 15th floor deck so we head to the main dining room. Cellar Master cab with, Reuel, cucumber and pear soup excellente, meat loaf, ok not special. Bob Brocoli and cheddar soup very good, cuban panini ( ok not special).
We chat with the pleasant couple at the next table from Alaska--we talk comparative weathers--traffic around the world. They're traveling, while their new house is being built, with their peace-corps type son and his girlfriend whom they are treating. Smells like money.

Bob says that our balcony table is pleasant because we can look down at the poor people and since the lower dining room is closed I note that there seem to be none in existence (which is probably true of the passengers on this ship).

We skip desert (which we'd ordered) to get to the lecture, "Never Marry An Actor" (a quote from George Peppard on his divorce from Elizabeth Ashley). Bogie and Bacall. (Rat pack assembled when he was dying.)
Tracy and Hepburn. Made 9 movies together. Travolta and Preston. Denzel and ; Taylor/Burton.
We decide he's not really much of a lecturer.

A little balcony sunning-- B still reading the Grace Coddington (Vogue editor) autobiography which he is much enjoying. "She knew everybody ". I'm reading Shakespeare In The Movies, a history and evaluation of the treatment of Shakespeare's plays from the silents to Shakespeare In Love (this book was published in 2000--borrowed from the ship's library). Fascinating.

2:30 We're sartorially ready for the Captain's Club reception in the Sky Lounge--(our mid-cruise laundry/dry cleaning bill is $60 at $1.95 for each pair of underwear, for example--knowing that the doors are locked until the last minute and no need to fight the throngs. And indeed there are many Captains Clubbers, the repeat Celebrity passengers, on this transatlantic voyage.

When the doors do open the captain and his officers convivially nod us along with their hands behind their backs--no handshaking for sanitation reasons--after all every time we enter the ship, the dining rooms, the theatre, there are attendants offering hand sanitizing liquid; we sanitize our exercise mats and equipment with wipes. Too bad we had lunch because there are h'ors deuvres and carvery and sushi stations set up as well as wine and cheap champagne (we're spoiled now--and even the captain, funny and direct guy-in his toast praising our collective loyalty--calls it ginger ale).

A portly couple joins us in our foursome section of comfortable chairs with whom we chat--the usual conversation about travels, cruising in particular. They, like others, enjoyed the Constellation a smaller older vessel (and, note, we might consider a Panama Canal trip from San Diego on it). He from Alaska, she from Boston, both Florida now like so many of the ship’s denizens (this being a cruise primarily for older retirees which docks in Ft. Lauderdale Florida.) (They also have a time- share in Palm Springs of course).

4: Zumba--no observable diminishment in numbers and the rocking of the ship adds an interesting challenge. I notice the ship's video photographer focuses on me as I fumble my steps--great. Afterward I offer suggestions to Wayne and Michael, with whom we have yet to dine onboard, on Murano's menu since they have reservations there this evening (they bought a specialty restaurant dining package).

I battle with the Internet in the I lounge. I can get Reuel email through AT&T.net but can't log in to my home computer for Bobolink email.

Takes so long to get our martinis served at Martini Bar that we face the challenge (oh how brave we, the Passenger) of then transporting them into the theatre as the ship rocks. Sipping the liquid down a bit as we navigate the aisles becomes the essential balancing strategy. We are repaid with another one of those throwaway shows--is Celebrity compromising on talent to save bucks?--this time with an elderly pianist all toothy smiles ready to offer credenzas and narratives about composers to the delight of the middlebrow audience, cozened on with invitations to join in, while the orchestra blares loudly and backs him up blatantly poorly. Didn't they do a sound check and a rehearsal?

Late Dinner. Domaine Chandon of course. Then i discover that missing is my Sea Pass which is not only my key but contains the info that i have a premium alcohol package. Much fuss. When I rush down to the Guest Relations desk, it is there . Whew.

We both have walnut dressing on our salads. Bob Crab cake. Quite good Chicken Saltimboca. Very good. Reuel Risotto with mushrooms. Lovely. Penne pasts. Mediocre. Decide not to finish it. Good idea considering how much damn food there is around us constantly. Apple pie a la mode for me is delish. Bob enjoys his cherries jubilee, but where is the flambé?

We skip the 10:30 show "masque" on the main deck gallery with dancers and costumes guaranteed to be picturesque "bring your cameras" only because we are too damned sleepy.

TUESDAY DEC 11
In the fitness studio 1/2 hour early (6;30) for Stretch and it's already crowded with reservists and their sanitized mats. The machines out in the gym are mostly taken too--Bob has claimed his treadmill 10 minutes earlier. Kind of neat, though, the floor-to-ceiling windows on the sea that the machine people, like Bob, face while they pedal.
Heard during stretch. "Excuse me! Your feet are in my face. " Then later a loud fart erupts. Nick: “If you don't breathe, goes other end”.

I opt for the Palates class next at 8. Wild fitness animal! Tall skinny is in charge, Matias. This palates is not unlike the mat work in our aerobics classes. I ask Mat about that afterward. He says it builds productive rather than big muscles. He has the lightest blue eyes I've ever seen.

10: Zumba- 5 minutes of sudden rain drowns us out déjà vu, so we are again routed to the galleria court.
Bob collects me afterward as I chat with now fellow regulars Wayne and Michael and we proceed to . . .

11: Nutrition lecture in the Fitness Center studio (my home away from home). Mat, at the blackboard and addressing a full house:

Can control hormone level with food
Zone: for healthy nutrition we need--
carbs, 40% of calories taken; 2 fists per meal for Good carbs, fruits, veg; these are from nature
Bad, human made; example, pastas (1 fist)
protein 30%
Good -- fish, chicken, 3 legs or less
Palm size
Bad 4 legs or more palm size
fat 30%
Good – natural, nuts, middle palm
Bad - animal fat, upper thumb

Quality--
Need at least 5 meals a day
Visceral Fat -- energy for organs
Breakfast- 1/2 hr - hr after wake; Snack; Lunch; Snack; Dinner; Late night snack(Olives, cheese, glass of wine)

Snack 15 m to 30 m before exercise

Every Meal 40/30/30
Ex.
15 points;B ;L 4; D 3
Food combining : Divide alcalines and acids
Ex. Chicken sandwich. Chicken alcaline. bread acid

Diets don't work.
Need lean muscles for basil metabolic rate.
Then tries to sell his consultation services:
BCA consultation $50 for a couple

If we weren’t before we are now obsessed with the need to EAT.

Then a warm shower is most appreciated before the next activity, the movie lecture
1: pm "Blockbusters"
Jaws: aka "flaws"-- shooting problems; duration; budget;
Shark named Bruce because that’s the name of Spielbergs attorney. Today Bruce would be digitized. 1st to hit $100 mil.
Repeated viewings.
Other criteria ROI, artistic success, Timing, Sequels perpetuated.
Titanic - 1st to top 1 billion
Avatar 2 billion
Better lecture this time.

Lunch at Bistro on 5
Very nice setting and at the window.
Pinot noir. Ham and pea soup brilliant. The Mediteranean. Roasted chicken garlic, mozzarella, dried tomato and pesto sauce. Comes w lovely little salad. Excellent.

After 2 glasses of that wine we absent ourselves to see the 2:30 napkin folding demonstration. We'll have such a splendid dinner party with these fabulously meticulously folded napkin placements. Who'd a thunk.

Oops it's almost 3 and time for the mountebank piano guy who actually had considerable skills (he did play a one-handed concerto piece. Bob insists it was Scott Joplin. Not.) So we'll give him another chance. Brooks Eron. Standing room only house. "Concert of well-loved classical music." 1st Chopin waltz and then "we'll graduate to the Polonaise". He's a charming elderly Brit in tails who is actually a fine, dynamic lecturer.
Then Jesu Man's Desiring (a can’t miss this season) and Tschaikovsky's 1st Piano Concerto. OK he’s a wonderful raconteur. He's forgiven. But I've got to change for Zumba shortly.

4: After Zumba I pin down Wayne and Michael for a luncheon date tomorrow. We speculate they're part of some group so we'll find out what's what tomorrow.

God I need this post-Zumba warm shower on tight muscles. I guess 5 exercise sessions in a day are a bit much even for me.

Michaels Club is crowded so we opt for the default cocktail hour bar, Martini Bar, and sit at the ancillary bar, Crush, which Bob reminds me is the name of the intermission bars in London. A photographer attempts to photograph the couple across from us. "We're too old," she says. When he tries the husband he protests and smiling broadly she snaps at him "Don't make a fuss!" We, now fortified with our drinks, quickly escape to our favorite armchairs nearby.

So we arrive for the evening's big performance, a lounge singer on the main stage. Hmm. With him the backup works well. Why? Did he flatter them during rehearsal? He mentions each by name, something the previous performer surely couldn't do. Some impressions. Rather too much about his family.

Dinner at The Grande Cuvée. We request Nilo's section. (Our favorite sommelier.) He chooses Freemark Abby chardonnay for starters. Quite nice.
I'm thinking codfish for my main course. I ask how people are responding to it. The server (a manager) says what else would you have. I say NY steak. He says NY steak. So be it.
Bob pork spring roll . Ok. Reuel lobster ravioli. I finally decide it's quite good.
Bob salad w strawberries and blue cheese--added to it a lemon thyme dressing which he quite likes. My egg drop soup is “uniquely good"
We are eating our Osso Bucco (Bob) "hearty" and steak - not brilliant cut but hey pretty good - I likee the potatoes too. Nilo pours an Australian cab. Whoa! Let your sommelier choose.
However we are on our 3rd pour of Austrailian so we demur on dessert wine and quite enjoy our butter pecan ice cream without it.


WEDNESDAY DEC 12
Fell in bed at 9 so get up at various times during the night trying to determine the time. Turns out we are yet another hour back so I wake Bob at 5 am instead of 6 am. However, there’s no telling how early is just right for claiming a machine in the gym or a perfect place on the floor of the exercise studio. I, woozy and wobbly, go through the motions of stretch and abs crunch and swear I fall asleep in palates, which seems pretty undemanding as it is.

Now having pre-Zumba tea with Bob on the outdoor Oceanview deck. Will I make it through Zumba given my torpor?

I do. It's sunny and hot out. Who knew? I make arrangements to meet with Wayne and Michael and we do after showering and resting.

It's B on 5th where we get our usual cabs-Wayne and Michael abstain. Turns out Dr. Wayne Giles, 52, is a very big deal in infectious diseases, lectures all over the world. Michael Schwartz, 56, nurse (Jewish) with two masters degrees, who wants to get into furniture design biz. Pleasant couple. Our soups, they potato, me oxtail are delicious, crepes-mine seafood, ooh la la . Bob’s steak salad is delicious and the desserts are equally so.

There’s enough time for a nice nap before, you guessed it, Zumba.

It's six and this evening it's Michael's Club--comfortable chairs. Clubby, entertainment. I note to Bob that we are not tense here--aboard--we're in a kind of protective bubble of unconcern. Something to be said for that. Entertainer is the Jewish boy with his guitar. We leave to explore the other spaces. This is essentially the entrance to the specialty restaurants. The designers outdid themselves if that's possible on this ship of outré design that actually manages to work brilliantly.
Early to the theatre for the entertainer described as a "Storyteller". This requires a Chardonnay.
He’s actually a comedian and funny. I hear Bob laughing. He calls the coach area on an airplane “section 8 assisted living”.
“My wife knows I love her because I give her . . .  cash.” (Delivery, including timing, in comedy is everything)

We stop by to hear the ever-fine a capella group, Neptunes, on our way to dinner. Bob is not hungry but we take the plunge anyway. (Go to the buffet? No.) Nilo our sommelier serves a Napa chardonnay to start. Our server has suggestions for starters and we take them. We have a window seat and though it is dark we can see the whites of the waves.
Spinach and artichoke appetizer with pita. Nice! Mushroom soup. Flavorful. Quite nice. Nilo serves me a Napa cabernet with my unthrilling prime rib. Too salty? The accompaniments are fine. Bob has similar problems with his chicken. But he likes his almandine tart. Though there’s a problem with it. (?) Mine? Cheesecake. Lovely.

Zzzzz.

THURSDAY DEC 13
Up by 5 but we’ve had 8 hours of sleep. (From balcony, it looks balmy on the ocean . We'll see.)
This means an early start to the gym. I get a half hour of elliptical 1.8 miles before stretch class. Nick today. Calming vaguely Asian music. Clear from remarks that staff can't wait to get to land (3 days more). Not sure how I feel. Interesting that no obese people (who abound aboard) take these fitness classes.

Next Mat introduces some impossible exercises in palates.
At 10 am Zumba the friendly Brit lady, who I now discover considers her home Tel Aviv though she's lived everywhere, pushes Michael away and stands within a foot of me though she can barely dance and gets pushed by me. I say that, for her own good, she might spread out. Glad I have sunglasses on. It's that sunny. Wonderfully calm and balmy crossing.

We knock on our neighbors’, Wayne and Michael's, door and we proceed to the big Brunch together-a potlatch of food we remember as special from last year-already crowded so we must carry our laden plates up the stair to the balcony dining area of Gran Cuvée. Last year those pushy Russians made it unpleasant. This year they’re more civilized. Ah the piles of shrimp, thick prime rib carvery, on and on and then afterward back down for the delish little pastries. Much pleasant conversation including, ironically, the virtues of vegetarianism--they are/were vegetarians.

Together we catch the last of the Film lecture about Some Like it Hot. Shot in black and white because makeup problems for crossdressing Lemon and Curtis.

And up next in the theatre, another Lecture: Antarctica
Many territorial claims. International . Special place.
Loads of penguins. Unconcerned by Humans.
Most exotic destination. Fewer than 1 mil have set foot on it.
Penguins do fly. Fly thru water (denser medium) like birds do in air.
Absolutely fascinating--he was there. 1/2 travelogue 1/2 geological science. I'd like to visit some day.

Oops gotta get off our comfy balcony chaise and get ready for Zumba.

Martini Bar sufficiently crowded for us to stand at the balcony ledge and see, hallelujah, a gay male couple dancing below to the band's numbers. They are quite good--lessons!--and I take photos. How delightful. I Love ship life.
Now martinis in tow we await the evening's main entertainment, a singer unknown to us. Sorry he's basically a violinist, an electronically enhanced violinist. And on keeping with the schlock entertainer selection that they think a middlebrow audience such as WE deserve, he is dizzyingly eclectic, Coldplay to Fiddler On the Roof, to Jesu Joy of Man (again) to Country. Though truth be told, he's remarkable--enough Stephan Grapelli pyrotechnics to suggest brilliance. But of course there's the formula family video ( his 6 year old son performing) and audience participation to guarantee such as the insistent “Bravo” from the lady to my left. Ok.

Then on our way to dinner, we see in the gallery court the finals of the staff/passenger dance competition—the Japanese woman who nightly dances with her husband on this and last year's (how many others) ship loses to a hip throwing guy, probably gay.

Dinner Domaine Chandon. We kill the bottle. Another hits the dust. Me. Risotto with shellfish. Delightful, a winner. Fagioli soup. Lamb shank. Bob has eggplant. "An enthusiastic Good. " Fagioli soup. "The chef does good soups." Rigatoni. "Good pasta el dente." We enjoy a recommended chianti with the main course. Killed a bottle there. Woopsi. Strawberry and chocolate ice creams to finish. I photograph my strawberry. It looks obscene. Anatomical. And it's yummy.
We head back to our cabin though much is still going on in this city of a ship.

FRIDAY DEC 14
Rising early as usual, we, Bob confessing, search down deep for the necessary motivation to attack the gym.
I do 45 minutes and 2 1/2 miles on the elyptical. Stretch and abs with Matejas. He keeps upping the difficulty so I decide to skip palates until I discover it's his partner Nat who has a cold and in charge so he'll be a smidgeon easier on us. Back just in time for a breakfast snack at the Acqua Spa cafe. So many cafes so little time. And then . . .

Pat Abott, the SDSU prof and reality TV star, (Giligans Island Reality "the professor") who is very good, is lecturing about earthquakes today. I'll probably need to sneak out early for Zumba.
Impossible to predict earthquakes. (Oy ) 5.5 mill years gulf opening in SoCal. Another 2 mil yrs of earthquakes.
Oh great. I ask Bob to tell me what happens after I sneak out. He says, "We die".  All the more reason to enjoy ourselves now, which is my favorite insistent mantra.
How many outfits does Jaimie our Zumba instructor own? I see her twice a day and she looks great in all of them.
Tel Aviv lady hugs me. "Good morning darling" as Captain tells us over loudspeakers of the coordinates (which means nothing to me). "Maximum speed 12 knots." That's nice. Sounds fast.

Zumba lovely. These wonderful sessions are almost worth the price of the cruise. Well almost.
Nice warm shower and we head for the cooking competition (Bob filling me in on the desultory Oscar's film lecture he attended whilst I was dancing. Oscar is named after the 1st librarian of film institutes library's uncle. Etc.)

We fall into a glass of Chardonnay as the elves set up the elaborate food laden counters for the cooking competition in the all-purpose Silhouette Theatre and we decide to negotiate the all-significant decision of where to have lunch , Bistro on 5 or Grande Cuvée.

We enjoyed the cooking show last year and we will this year. The 2 competing contestants select from the "marketplace" on stage and cook in 15 minutes 3 dishes for the judges with their chef assistant, one from Blu Restaurant for Sky class passengers and one from the Ocean View Cafe for everyone. The audience asks questions. Crew food? Many chefs for them for each culture. Osso Bucco marinates for 24 hours. Herbs wrapped in newspapers and sprayed for freshness still grow. Meats are from Europe, Australia and USA. Oceanview cafe team wins. Why bother to book a more expensive Sky cabin then?

However Grande cuvée wins our private lunch competition. Our slav sommelier remembers Bob's name. "You had a Russian last name?" (He will serve us 3 glasses each.) "Ukranian." A celebrity on Celebrity.
Promised Gloria Ferrer no longer available but we preemies get the Celebrity cellar master chard anyway.

R and B try ravioli and butternut squash bisque. "Quite successful; the bisque sauce the ravioli is in is wonderful" says Bob. R. Singapore noodles. Nice though the shrimp and scallops main course our neighbors are having looks fabulous. B. chicken roll. "Very good." For dessert we both choose the banana cream pie. Absolutely marvelous. Bob remembers having it as a kid in Bethlehem at The Ritz restaurant down the street from where he lived near my parents' friend Dr. Sinoway. A coincidence that never ceases to amaze.

We both comment once again on the amazing efficiency of the choreography in the dining room. No auctioning--God forbid. Long may they dance their pleasure dance

We stagger upstairs and enjoy a lovely nap before I dress in my Zumba costume for the promised concert that we discover . . . is canceled. So, left to our own resources, huh?, and finding a perch on the lawn club area outside the art studio (maybe next trip I'll make mosaic bead necklaces etc.) we watch the surprising rain and its gray aftermath--not at all unpleasant.
Down to Skylounge with its wonderfully comfortable lounges looking out at the floor to ceiling infinity of sea and sky, Bob to peel off to tea, sandwiches and Chardonnay the latter to later enjoy in the room (and singing aloud the benefits of the Premium beverage package) when our steward delivers today's h'ors deuvres and Reuel before joining him to enjoy the next to the last day's Zumba class along with new Zumba faithfuls Wayne and Michael.

The horrendous shooting of children in Connecticut dominates tv as we prepare for a formal evening. I’m angry about this country's absence of gun control.

We look real pretty. A woman who later confesses that she's to the right and just behind me at Zumba comes over to our alcove in the Martini Bar to admire my socks.
We wander in late for dinner--hey it's anytime seating. Me. Chopped liver pâté. Brilliant. Oysters Rockerfeller. Now I know. 3 oysters with a cheese sauce. Arugula salad. Quite good, especially with a dijon mustard dressing. Lobster tail. Oh God! Best. And my Vionier our sommelier suggests: To die.
Bob has blue cheese soufflé. "Wonderful. The sweet topping really sets it off." Arugula salad. He likes the balsamic dressing he chose. Lamb chops medium rare. “Well prepared dish. I'm delighted. Encrusted with herb crust.”
Chasing our champagne. Nilo: I sent someone to get it. Ah our Slav appears with the Domaine and makes suggestions for our main courses.
Then there's a sampler of deserts. Tears to the eyes. Baked Alaska. Love it.

Though we saw this show last year, I’m smitten. Jugglers, acrobats, specialty acts. Amazing. Neat we're right up front. Bob absolutely is not a fan. I say, it's the extraordinary discipline of the performers. He just can't stand this Cirque Du Soleil manqué stuff. Dwayne and Michael in our up elevator agree with me but the other ladies there side with Bob audibly--very funny.

SATURDAY DEC 15
It’s the last full day aboard and, frankly, I could easily stay on for awhile. Less than 5 hours sleep--it was a late night--but I'm ready for my exercises --elliptical, stretch, abs--though I'll skip palates. Bob chooses to sleep in. "I'm still on vacation."
We protest a charge at Guest Relations -- we did finally get our $200 onboard credit--and head for Bistro on 5 where they seem plunged into confusion , perhaps because the captain and his officers are probing the grill burners with flashlights , until we give up on our crepes order much to the chagrin of the manager who promises us a complimentary meal, no thanks we'll overeat at the buffet, then walk around the upper decks.

Zumba. On pool deck as usual. I ask Jamie about her Zumba classes at home. She says she does that for fun; her work as a speech therapist pays the bills.

Lecture. I sit in my wet zumba togs in the air conditioned auditorium balcony. Bob is in the orchestra. I’ll take a photo.
Atlantis. Eliminates various areas. E.g. Bimini.
Occam's Razor: Simplicity is best.
Plato: said Atlantis is an island in the Mediterane which experienced earthquakes and floods, then sank in a day = collapse of volcano. Could be Santorini.
Archaeology: Minoan civilization (very advanced) on Aegean. No skeletons. Population flees.
Volcanology.

Maybe a warm shower will prevent me from getting sick. Too saddened by the continual awful news of the dead children, we leave our cabin to walk around and around the deck in the warm air and then head down to the final lecture, this on
Citizen Kane. I realize the over-reliance on slides is because the lecturer ran a department for deaf people. Ah the Chardonnay thank you.

A lot on Hearst. Hearst put Davies in 46 movies. Refused to advertise Kane. Defamed Welles in his papers. Louella Parsons saw a preview and ratted on Welles who was booed at the Oscars. Not successful in its 1st run--like Singing in the Rain.
Now Casablanca. Fans like the storytelling (vs technique in Kane). Shows trailer. "Play it once Sam. For old times sake." Composer Max Steiner (also Gone With The Wind) wanted to replace As Time Goes By.
Tough guy Bogie transitions here to romantic lead.
Script was not finished before shooting so Bergman didn't know what would happen to her character.

Up to The Lawn Club where this time there is no wind just a beautiful view of the surrounding sea. "Very pleasant on a lovely day," says Bob.
Our Roosky waitress serves us Chardonnay, potato soup (Good!) Philly panini (ok for me) and an Italiano panini ("a winner") for Bob.
The one hottie on the ship, an Asian, shows up and hugs all the waitresses-- everyone likes his shorts up here in the Lawn Club.

Quick change to Zumba outfit in prep for quick escape from afternoon show with the violinist Doug Cameron. He's really extraordinary. Sound he produces and incorporation of band in his act, that reveals that the klutzes as backup I reported with dismay earlier include some really talented musicians. Too bad there's the obligatory family tribute, this time a photomontage to his father, sentimental tugs, but that's to be expected from all of these ship solo acts, appeals to God, country, family plus plenty of audience participation. That's slow biz; I mean show biz.

Final Zumba is emotional--Jaime is a treasure and its been a joy for me to participate in 2 Zumba classes a day under her ministrations and the other stalwarts ; we take a class picture which I'll request of Jamie.

After class Wayne, Michael and I go up to swim-ish in the pool and then repair to the jacuzzi--really neat ending to the trip. They join us shortly thereafter at the Martini bar so that we can have seats together for the final variety show—where we catch the juggler we missed in his mainstage gig, the funny comedian, "As to you gay guys on board, what if you are overweight, are you coming out of the walk-in closet?” The lovely a Capella group--over the rainbow, a Beach Boys medley.
We say our goodbyes and hugs with Wayne and Michael after the show and promise to keep in touch, Bob joking that we're booked Xmas but we'll visit them New Years…


Din din in Grand Cuvée.
Me. Creamy Parmesan Polenta; "quite good", says Bob. I’m less impressed. Spiced Louisiana gumbo; (not hot- but finishes well) grilled rib eye with Carmelites onion potato cake, peas, asparagus and Jameson Irish Whiskey. Ok.
Bob. Polenta; Tuscan vegetable minestrone with fresh basil chiffonaide (not chefs finest; also not hot but passes the I'm still alive test); veal cordon blu, layered with ham and melted provolone cheese, served with baby vegetables, mushroom ragout and madeira sauce. He likes it.

Nilo pouring our champagne says you've got to finish the bottle and you're not leaving the room until u finish 2 bottles. Damn right. Though actually we don't have a 2nd bottle w the main course. We've really gotten used to good champagne to see us through.
Sacher torte (oh joy of man's desiring though could have been improved ?) Bob adds mitschlag w Nilo's dessert wine choice which is of course incredibly lovely.

More final packing ensues. Bags out. Extra collapsable (inflatable) bags we purchased onboard are filled (oopsie).

SUNDAY DECEMBER 16
Up at 5:30 am but it's really 4:30. Can see a ribbon of light which must be the promised land of Ft. Lauderdale. That there are tiny model ships in the background proves it.
Bob unimpressed says "it's not New York harbor" and bless him goes back to sleep.
I'm now in domestic waters and have, hooray, Internet access on my faithful companion, the iPhone, to discover that our bank accounts are all in order and Don has done a masterful job of depositing and paying on our behalf so we’re ready for the next cruise tomorrow (kidding--I guess).

Breakfast in the Grand Cuvée goes smoothly. Celebrity has its act together as almost always. We vacate our cabin at 8 to sit in the library and proceed to the dining room, now a waiting room, until our number is called. We find our luggage awaiting us after a Shiplong walk along the pier.
Then after breezing through customs (just checks our passports), I have a back amd forth text conversation with our Miami Beach host Misha who assures us finally that we needn't rush--as if we could--there'll be somebody there for us. We wait on line for almost an hour (a man tries to cut in and is assailed by vengeful passengers including us until a sheriff sends him to the end of the long line) before our taxi picks us up.
Oops a sheriff stops our cab and makes our driver pull over. "You can't overcharge them with an airport surcharge." He shouts. "Pull over." And we sit while the meter ticks. After 15 minutes the officer delivers, to the cabbie's protest, his citation and after our protest says start the meter over again.
Did I say touring ain't easy?

After much additional texting with our host Misha when we arrive at the hotel, we get the keys at 11:30 for the now-cleaned room. Smallish, dominated by two comfortable double beds but with the promised view beyond the facing
other side of the hotel of the ocean, which for better or worse was my requirement in accommodations, the other being the very cheap for this season in Sobe $95 a night. In the corner is the refrigerator, microwave and cabinet (no sink), largish closet, ok bathroom--pretty basic but . . .
Shelbourne has a great lobby. Nice pool area. People lounging.

We find Yuca (Young Urban Cuban America) on Lincoln Road, a Cuban restaurant "with a Spanish flavor" and sit at a street table as we watch the relentless passing parade (Zumba-style music playing of course). Martin our server in Fedora is dashing as is his colleague who serves us the guacamole with plaintain . This we share as a starter (it could be a meal for 2) and to accompany my Mohito ($5) and Bob's wine ($4). Prices are great. Bob's Fritta burger ($10) (he likee) and R's 1/2 chicken Cubano (or something like that) fabulous and this after 15 days of gourmet--the brocolini “mmm” and the mashed plantain “mmm” and the chicken tender and spiced just right -- a splurge here at $12. Tot. $57.15 with required 18% tip. A farmers market is also on Lincoln Road today.
We explore up and down. There must be 100 restaurants all with sidewalk cafes.

When I approach a giant menorah and dreidel covered in sea shells to take a campy photo, a Chabad person tries to get me to put on philactes. Nothing doing. You no steal my soul.
Always trust a Ritz Carlton which provides me utterly necessary respite, bladder bursting . . . Get the picture.
Walgreens for provisions.

It’s not seemly to confine ourselves to our room after a nap and a call to make arrangements with old friend Al Hamilton for a Wednesday get together so we consult Google gay guide and set out for Mova, supposedly The sophisticated cocktail bar in Sobe. It's large, beautiful (modern divans for seating, cavernous, serious money) and Dead but we stay for only one martini -- one reason is that the Cubano handsome bartender ignores us except to hold on to not only my credit card but license as well, the other being what's the point?

Lincoln road at night is like an Italian promenade or the Barcelona Ramblas. Kids' lemonade stand. "How much?" "We work for tips."
We walk along Collins, all those lovely carefully lighted deco hotels to photograph. Instead of my childhood memories of old people rocking on those porches, it's young people rockin' on the porches that are now cafes. We turn into Ocean Boulevard on 12th to find a mass of gay humanity inside, outside and around the Palace Bar fronting the gay beach. The restaurateurs ply us with menus as we continue our beachside walk. There is that Air of Happening everywhere.

Now hungry, we duck into Jerry's Famous deli. Is it located at the famous Wolfies Deli I pine for? I have a 1/2 chopped liver sandwich, Nice but too creamy. Bob a 1/2 pastrami. He likee. Potato salad so-so.

Back "home" to explore the now night-lighted and gorgeous lobby and pool area to find--yippee--that the pool opens at 7am.

Reflecting, before sleep, what else can we do in Miami Beach; we've experienced the "vibe" along Collins Ave., Lincoln Road and Oceanwalk, all those well-built (ahem) young people--in stark contrast to the demographic, and collective girth, on Celebrity's fabulous Silhouette.


MONDAY DECEMBER 17
Wake at 6, Bob later, after best sleep during this holiday. I set off for my solo swim in the great pool, breakfast diners overlooking. 40 lengths. Glad that as I swim I see coconuts in the palm trees growing along the periphery of the pool, though when they become dangerously higher than people's heads, they'll no doubt be eliminated, a precaution not in practice during my youthful Florida years. Glad to have my bath towel which was kindly "donated" by Celebrity cruise lines.

Much continuing discussion and reflection about the Connecticut school children massacre on our large screen TV. (There are TV's in the elevators here so I'm really plugged in.)
We decide to have breakfast in -room (banana, chicken salad sandwich, tea and coffee) so that will justify meals out the rest of the day.

Do many Art Deco hotels (we vow to take the Art Deco tour tomorrow and we will be among first there because that is what we do as former teachers meeting classes on time) and as we walk back along Ocean walk, the restaurant hustlers try to cozen us in-- one woman shakes her boobs in my face and says "like some lunch?" I wouldn't care for what she seems to be offering. Maybe a slice of pizza instead?)

We settle into one of the $9.95 lunch, 2 for 1 drinks places (they mostly are) Mia Bella Roma. I have a peach martini, which I like but Bob fairly gags with his taste. A Chardonnay of course for the likes of him. After my first I don't care about the aggressive music and being unable for various reasons to get up and Zumba. Bob at this point doesn't care a bit. Very nice focaccia with olive oily balsamicy stuff. Reuel pizza Margurita Yea! Bob chicken quesadilla. Neat. My 2nd martini is w passion fruit. Lovely!

Interesting here in Sobe they charge 18% tip which is less than we usually pay as former empathetic restaurateur employers. Ha ha.

Back at the hotel, naps and rest from the hard work (ha) of the morning, then for a walk along the beach going north as far as 41st Street. Lovely boardwalk all the way. Amazing Art Deco edifices, this time mostly condo buildings and some that were new "modern" high rises in the mid-seventies when Bob and I saw them on our trips to Florida then (though he doesn't remember them) now being renovated, hollow except for the basic structure being kept intact, perhaps by historical preservation fiat. We walk back on the street side--many photo opportunities-- I hope to prepare a slide show of these phenomena. We stop for more provisions, this time cheese, crackers and . . . Vodka. After stopping in the ultra mod W Hotel lobby and viewing its bar lounges, we head back for home-brewed cocktails and MSNBC News -back to the old habit . . . before a foray outdoors.

Stroll up and down the ever-buzzing Lincoln Road--its myriad shops and restaurants all a-glitter, full of come-hither. Ostensibly we are looking for the perfect luncheon place for Al's visit but we forget as we find ourselves involved in this and that distraction. That’s ok because the el dorado of lunch places doesn't grab us by the neck anyway.

Home for wine and "it'll be a surprise" says Bob who presents "a little nosh" (already with the Miami vernacular) of potato chips and cheese and turkey sandwich quarters. Snatches of cheesey movies, cartoons, nature films--we contemplate the sad fate of the Burmese python in Florida.

TUESDAY DECEMBER 18
Not continuous night sleep but sufficient hours--typical. Kind of strange staring sunrise in its face for Westerners (well we are).

Out there at the pool shortly after 7 when pool opens here--no breakfasters around just solitary Reuel in for the swim, the servers scurrying (to little avail) and the guards at the gate. 40 lengths before joining Bob for an in-room breakfast with Morning Joe (a tv luxury we miss on the west coast).
Getting ready for our trek to our Art Deco tour.

At the Art Deco Welcome Center, we continue to look next door for an Art Deco gift for Don--nothing suits.
Kent is our guide. Our group includes some Brits and Australians.

1513 Fla is discovered by Ponce Deleon. Miami Beach incorporated in 1918. Only subtropical climate in the USA. Lummis bros. No restrictions on land ownership. So it’s a “promised land” for Jews.
Carl Fisher: Father of Miami beach. Wants garden of Eden which will outdo Palm Beach which rejected this rich mid-westerner. Mediteranean style. 1915. 1935-42. Art Deco. Paris exhibition. Frozen fountain. NYC. Man overcoming environment. Totally symmetrical.
Different branches: Moderne. Tropical moderne etc.
now corps buying a few adjacent properties with each acquisition to make the investment profitable.
1930's rates $5-7/nt,. small rooms not air conditioned. Owned by Jews. 6-8 mos to construct. Oll llimestone, (crustaceans, fossils) sand here. Orig. painted beige or gray. Barbara Kaplan changed that.
Idea of ocean liner.
Hotel Essex. Henry Hill Heister architect. (Responsible for 300 Miami Beach hotels.)
Racing stripes. Portholes. 3's. eyebrows w curved ends (streamlining--aerodynamics) for shade. Biggest season - after New Years - 1940 75,000 for season.
Few had swimming pools.
Egyptian detail. Terrazzo.
Mob presence here. They own the city; means any mob could operate. Collusion with cops.

Mural. Of Everglades in Essex Hotel.
All had fireplaces.
L Murray Dixon. 2nd most prolific architect.
Typography- symmetrical.
Tudor hotel. Palmer house. (Combin. Classical/art deco
Marlin. 3 up. 3 across.
Leonard Bernstein interior designer chooses 7 tropical pastel colors.
“Miami Vice” tv show important for South Beach revival--paid hotels to paint them.
Preservationists tried to save hotels - slept on porches.
On ocean walk hotels were 50 steps from ocean.
1 hotel for 60-70 residents.
The Carlyle: Birdcage filmed there
The Tides tallest. Now condos.
Sobe called “Gods waiting room” in the 60's-70's.
Castro releases Boat Lift prisoners. Old people here are murdered, scared.
Cristo. Artists models. Calvin Klein Obsession. Then Miami Vice. Versace (who designed for Miami Vice when starting out).
Can't recreate outside, just inside.
The Victor. Owned by Jordache bros.
The furnishings were usually black, reds, metallics.
Versace mansion: Isadora Duncan is a frequent guest. Spanish Italian revival with Moorish influences. Now it’s owned by the Jordache bros.
Moon over Miami with Betty Grable adds to the popularity.
Congress hotel. Wave line=ancient Egyptian symbol for water.
At night south of 10th. Colony. Go inside. Walls covered in vitryte. Elevator door, cubistic mural over fireplace. See Beacon inside.
1926 hurricane. Crash ended c Fisher’s land of rich and famous.
See 14th A la folie. Off wash. Espanola. Lunch or dinner.
See Raleigh 18th and Collins. [hey that’s next door to us and we look down on it] Famous Pool. Esther Wiliams filmed there.

We take Kent's suggestion and stop at Puerto Sagaro, a not fancy shmancy Cuban restaurant for lunch and choose a bottle of Malbec and Cuban specialties that I've asked the server about. Bob tries the shredded beef, Reuel the Oxtail soup. We enjoy! Also nicely cooked rice and wonderful cooked plantains. $60.

We duck into a bank for cash and see tv headlines of blizzards and storms across the US. The weather has been Perfect for us however.

Champagne purchase for Al's arrival. Nap at home and it's time to find the multiplex on Lincoln Rd. (amazing structure with escalators as long as the London subway's for 4pm showing of “Lincoln”. A lengthy most respectable and respectful film loosely based on Doris Kearns Goodwin's bio (which I read) about the politics behind the 13th amendment. As Bob says, “It has Oscars all over it”.

Time to pop into H&M for socks and t-shirts--everything else there says Boy. As we continue up Lincoln Rd. Bob says he feels like we live here since we've been to this mall so many times. I reply that it's not a mall but a phenomenon. Outdoors, all buzz. Actually this carless outdoor "mall" was a part of my childhood remembrance 60 years ago, truly unique then. And my parents explored the (probably foolish) notion of opening a gift store there because my asthma abated in this balmy climate.

Just in time to settle in with hundreds of others under the stars in a wonderful palm tree bedecked park in front of the New World Center for a holiday concert, sugar plum fairies abounding, as we watch the orchestra within on a gynormous wall screen-I'd estimate 75X 100'. Probably as good as the San Diego Symphony but, um, prettier. Lots of close ups bearing testimony. Even the conductor looks like Matt Damon. Green Sleeves next up. Jeff Tayzin’s Hanukah Suite. Alan Silvestri’s Suite from the Polar Express. (Isn’t that a Disney movie?)
Elgar: Nimrod from Enigma Variations. In memory of the Connecticut massacre. Moment of silence, then . . . Christmas carols. Finally O Holy Night as we leave to buy some home-dining stuff at CVS.

Home: Vodka. Cheese and crackers. Ice cream. Why not?

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 19
After morning swim ritual, 50 lengths today-- there's actually another swimmer who laps on other side of the huge pool after I'm in 20 minutes. Da noive. We breakfast-in in anticipation of Al's arrival about 10:45 (tied up in traffic) from Ft. Lauderdale. He arrives looking older (I suppose we all do) and fragile hobbling on a cane--a hip problem. We consume a bottle of champagne as we begin catching up, trading travel stories and interrogating Al about his life. This continues when at 12:15 we make our slow (the cane) way to Lincoln Road to find lunch at a restaurant Al vaguely remembers dining at once. Cute waiter but mediocre food-- not the point-- Al and I consume 3 Belvedere martinis each and Bob 3 Chardonnays. After all the memory must be jogged (at our cost as hosts of almost $200). Slow way back to the hotel. Goodbyes. Al suggests on parting that his Marty might be part of the mix if we don't all reminisce. Hmm. We've had a lovely time with our old friend.

Nap before venturing out to see (and photograph) the neon of the Art Deco hotels along Ocean walk and Collins with forays into The Ritz and The Raleigh.
Now it’s time to settle into our other bottle of champs--this time a rose--share a microwave meatball dish plus salad and Bob confessing that he, surprised, is enjoying Sobe. zzzz.


THURSDAY DECEMBER 20
Breakfast in room-- fruit, yogurt. Swim. This time that other guy and a woman who does exercises between us. Big pool so it's cool.

We investigate the beach in front of our hotel and wonder about our condo dweller status vs. hotel guest, our beach ability to access Lily's food & drink with a credit card. (Moot as it turns out,)

Aren't we clever (actually Bob since he's pathfinder) that we're now awaiting lunch at the famous 100 year old Joe's Stone Crabs. First in at 11:30 and though very casually dressed we are well seated in a smaller room thank goodness--after enjoying the take-out area--this place is huge--and Bob purchases an Art Deco Tin of key lime flavored cookies for Don and a stone crab dolly for us-- Which I tell him is his birthday present (big of me). We inform the (tuxedoed) waiter we were last here 35 years ago and enjoy a nice Joes own (labelled) Chardonnay. I have the Select classic lunch--a really delicious (its the delectable broth) tomato and cole slaw salad , 4 stone crabs (accessible  and not needing the mallet Bob remembers was necessary in that day of yore) not much meat (frankly all crustaceans taste the same to me, cold, neutral) with potato cake yum spinach yum and key lime pie (fabulous--"wonderful" amends Bob. Mine's 1/2 sized--bob orders a full one) . Bob a chopped salad (he likes) and sirloin burger (not fond of the fish he) quite likes. His pail of chips very good.
There's a line of major domos awaiting the guests who will surely arrive in profusion. I posit that we personally further the cause of gay rights with the service community because we so liberally order liquor.

Stumbling out of Joes (after gleefully dropping a sawbuck plus tip) we stumble upon the Jewish museum. At $5 a senior we venture in. Jorge is our personal guide. pomegranate image in stained glass 618 seeds equals the number of commandments.
The museum’s special exhibit is the history of maj Jong. Ladies playing. 1763 1st Florida Jews, (16th c Ponce de Leon) conversos surely settled here.
In 1492 the pope expelled Jews from Spain. Turkey and Holland welcomed them. First kibbutz was in Fla. The 1st senator from Florida is a Jew: 1845.
Immigrants- to the “golden medina” first stop in key west harbor. Cigar makers. 1850 100 Jews. 1960 165,,000. Today 1 million. 2% of american population Jewish. Here 11%. South fla 2nd to Israel as percentage of population.
Russian immigration.
The St. Louis. 900 emigrating Jews. Not allowed here. Returned to Germany.

The mah Jong exhibit is a stitch and also very touching for me as I recall my mother playing in our apartment with her boisterous friends. And there they are, four ladies at a card table in the museum playing mah jong in earnest—a lot more quietly than I remember it.

And then the denizens of an assisted living home come in with their walkers--contentious and cranky--much to Jorge's consternation. They are wonderful. "Do you have a microphone we're all hard of hearing?" The guide shouts, "Can u hear me now?" "Barely."

We buy some things for Dorothy and Gary in the shop and proceed down the semi-seedy neighborhood past the Museum of Erotic Arts which Bob is unwilling to enter. You're scared, I taunt. "Not." Though we do patronize the Bass ($6 senior) whose fake masterpieces and busts of the Basses in horn-rimmed glasses and all that we fondly and campily remember from a 70's visit. Now those paintings an astute curator has determined are not the point and labeled "school of" "workshop of" and the Bass busts are, sadly, nowhere to be found. However an exhibit of 6 contemporary artists’ comments on old masters is well curated here.

We are playful in the museum park's curiosities, such as a sea theme maze. Back at the nearby Shelborne--taking the beach route--I determine from the concierge that we may store our luggage tomorrow. Hooray. Plenty of hooch in the room for cocktails so no worries.


FRIDAY DECEMBER 21
RETURN HOME

I dream I am on an ocean liner—a novice hired to please old ladies. There are rivals. Time to go down to dinner for which I am late and displeasing to the biddies but to everyone's surprise, including me, I am witty, a natural at this salon repartee. At first I am young. But am I old, experienced?

It's 6am, both awake and able to enjoy a pleasure not available to us time-zoned-out westerners, Morning Joe. Sure he's a windbag but it’s a show of amusing insider talk.

Swim 45 mins. Arduous job of packing--we're heavier in every way so we're glad to have the celebrity bags we purchased aboard.

Decide rather than frumpherimg around downtown seeking lunch that we heed the maid's 11 am knock and depart directly for the airport to seek our fortune, or many hours, there. Porter very happy to tote our luggage and call a cab (occurs effortlessly despite cautions from our host Mike/Misha that the hotel is "uncooperative". Puhleez Louise. They love a tip as much as anyone and the hotel hasn't been teeming with business anyway as far as we can tell.
Pretty female driver, Munoz--Portuguese? flat rate $33.

Sidewalk checkin - yea. The attendant prints boarding passes because he doesn't trust the mobile system (that makes 3 of us, though I kinda wanted to see if the iphone pass thingy really works). Then to Terminal J for Club America, with my priority pass , for relaxation, wine and the promise of sandwiches. Certainly this is a better way to spend the next 4 + hours than with the ordinary common peoples in their designated inadequate spaces, though I wouldn't classify this one as among the top ten lounges as Frommer does. Healthrow and Newark Continental were pretty special.
Never eaten so many finger sandwiches, however, even at Bar Mitzvahs.

We head for our gate--actually in another terminal which means going thru security again, small price to pay for being lounge lizards today--although we are rather early on the mark.
As we scurry, I note to Bob "I don't mind the Spanish language as long as it’s spoken in another country". That's all one hears in Miami and its airport--maybe a smattering of Italian and German, but English? Forgedabouditt! The woman across from me in the luxe lounge assumes I speak her language, launching into some sort of Spanish rap poem. In response she gets the universal shrug of incomprehension.

Sometimes my travel smarts--such as they are-- seep away. Once aboard, my volume doesn't work on my TV set so I signal the flight attendant to help. She says, confusingly and what seems like an Italian accent--are we flying Alitalia?--"Do you want me to get you someone?" "Well I need help" I reply--who knew there were special experts on volume onboard! Turns out she's a passenger nice enough to inform the real flight assistant that there's some old guy out there who definitely needs help. But it must be going around because I'm in the bathroom and though I've locked the door someone is repeatedly trying to get in. Turns out the dufus didn't know an occupied sign from an unoccupied one, such as the one across the aisle. Once outside, I do my usual stretch exercises and then I hear him trying to get out--5 minutes at the effort. I'm tempted to shout “Pull! Just Pull!” Guys probably not a locksmith.

Arduous trip Miami to Denver--just longish 4 1/4 hours. Chock full. If I tried to book this flight to San Diego a few days ago it would have been $1800 pp for the few 1st class seats available. At least we got aisles seats all the way to and fro.

Message from Don that our deck was finished a few hours ago and Brian will start on the division of the apartment below us next week. Yea. Back to the real world of nails, paint, and rent raises (?).

Here we are in Denver with a few hours to spare. We'll arrive in San Diego at 11:30 pm which is 2:30 am our body time. I guess there’ll be no aerobics and zumba tomorrow. We stop at the first restaurant we can in the enormous airport, The Colorado Sports Bar and Deli. Chelsea asks for our id's and we are all mirthful. The two chardonnays each and some wraps actually hit the spot. Note a smallish glass of chard is $9.50. Bob says that’s because we're trapped in an airport. Trapped in travelers' bodies say I.

Home finally. A lovely holiday.