2012: JUNE 7-29. PUERTO VALLARTA

PUERTO VALLARTA 2012
JUNE 7-29, 2012.

THURSDAY, JUNE 7.
So far so good. We're bright and bushy-eyed and Yosief in his black towncar arrives 15 minutes early, as promised, 6 AM. We head off to pick up the girls. Wonder if all the luggage will fit in his ill-working trunk. Vaguely mid-eastern music - sounds of the spa--wafts over us on the speaker as surely Yosief is mid-eastern or North African and already this beats the bus.
In the car with the nieces talk turns to weight loss, might as well get it over with or at least begin that familiar coda. Reuel cautions that PV is not a diet spa.
What an event-laden day! Transitions, transitions ( as sung by Zero Mostel). We tread the shoals of Mexican air fluidly and R is aware that the 4 companions will be admirable travelers, ready for the twists and turns that these adventures present. The ride to TIJUANA airport is without barrier, as is the less bewildering than usual airport--few gringos to be seen. B and R have exit row aisles across, and then have our own window aisle empty middle seat in trade with 3 gay young bilinguals. 2 hours and 20 minutes later, by Nancy's calculation, we zip along the freeway onto the narrow streets of charming old Zona Romantica to the El Dorado, our new abode--though it's as if R and B never left, the same chotchka-filled spacious condo overlooking the palapas out onto the sea, the girls in their 2-bedroom below. Hungry and hence edgy (the snacks on the flight don’t substitute for lunch) we venture out into the heat for liquor and some provisions. The non-working bedroom air conditioner threatens to destroy our holiday but is fixed (replaced condenser) with remarkable courtesy and speed from the staff while we four are having cocktails on the patio.

Then to old standby Bohemio Cafe for 3 margaritas each and flambé fantasticos (for Beth and R) chile rellenos for Bob and mole for Nancy- the maitre d is witty and charming though we and a gay couple are the only patrons on the balmy patio.

Beth, hell bent on having fun, suggests we swim in the pool - Bob decamping-- well floating therein is all that's possible - amusement as we push her into the wading pool and then we head into the dark of the bay below, phosphors erupting with each stroke. Eat, pray, love. "But we can do without the pray", Beth interjects. The water is warm and congenial, the sand surface soft beneath our feet, the waves unthreatening and we by mutual and oft repeated agreement are having a remarkable and lovely time, some of the troubles we've all brought with us being splashed away this eve somewhere south (and east) of the border.

JUNE 8, FRIDAY.
R & B do the malecon (coast boardwalk) walk alone since B & N aren't ready for our 8:30 am date. 25 minutes each way including the new sections that were under construction last year. And then the charming Chef Mavi appears to chauffeur us on a tour of the markets she shops at and then to her home for an insight into the creation of a gourmet Mexican lunch.
Fish market, taco factory, cheese merchant (his mother makes the cheeses, they have a cow for the milk). History of Mavi's "tutti Frutti" family.

Before spice shop we stop in the church of St. Michael and see the Christ sculpture that dominates the space and is made from one tree.
Fragments from my understanding of her cooking magic: Panels (?) cheese lo in fat appetizer with fresca. Guacamole with cilantro, onion ceramic pepper special lo fat salt flor de sal. Delicious.
Salsas- roasted tomatoes, peppers, onion, garlic. Then with green tomatoes and a chile paste.
We taste Nancies (a little berry), guava. (It’s good for you), and ciruela,
When Mavi prepares fish tacos she doesn't use flour. Uses Garlic she grates, adding
Quesadilla w manchego cheese and proscuito. Add cilantro and quesadilla,
Bob has prosciutto with two kinds of cheese, salsa fresca.
Margarita – made with white tequila 1 tablespoon tamarin paste, I/2 shot of organic syrup pepper flakes and sugar on the glass edge with a star fruit
(Note: Try chia in water for breakfast.)
The food and the charm and the anecdotes keep coming - "too numerous to mention." We meet Kristina, marketing manager, the sole daughter of the 4 children who is, like her mother charming, poised and smart and later the husband Kurt who is also outgoing, charming and very Anglo. We don't need to order an extra bottle of wine after the two margaritas, glass of wine and socko tequila aperitif which Mavi joins us for and tells us her mission is to show another normal Mexican lifestyle and let us know more of her life and cooking adventures.
We've spent seven hours (until 5pm) with her and her remarkable cuisine in her condo overlooking the marina and it's been a special experience. Beth loved the shrimp, guacamole, truffles. Not the cactus. The cerula fruit? We all (3) liked the fish tacos. Thanks Beth for the recommendation.

Now to rest our swollen bellies before a walk on the malecon wherein we escape the clutches of ever-hopeful vendors, buy notions Reuel forgot to pack and bath shoes for Bob at Woolworth, view the whirling, flying costumed acrobats descend from their pole imbeded in the beach,

eye the amazing beach sculptures, watch our girls apply band aids to their ailing feet, and arrive home to view the last vestiges of sunset and listen to, let's face it, the annoying mariachi band from the restaurant below our ringside terrace as we four sip cocktails, recap the day's great foody adventure, talk of family, and plan the next day in PV.

SATURDAY, JUNE 9.
Destination Fusion, the little restaurant up the block from home. We sit on the balcony "for the breezes" says Christian our sweet waiter. Nancy reminds us that French for big busoms translates to "she has the world on her balcony." They are nonexistent now at 10 am. Of course we are the only patrons. Very especial. Later one family joins us.
B&R machaca. Beth perversely "divorce eggs". R couple of bloodies
Now back at our old haunt, the almost empty Green Chairs beach, within spitting distance of the water where 2 men are kissing unseen by the nieces making their seating arrangements.

After breakfast R & B hie to the electronic/computer store around the corner for a new charger - oh joy to have found one - the terrible consequences of no diary, no email, no photos, are beyond bearing. There the organizer of the PV men's chorus stops by but elusive. Since we want tickets we seek the nieces at the farmers market next door - a revelation, mostly expats selling and buying- we buy a loaf of wheat bread, Beth has purchased gourmet tomales, mushroom, spinach etc for h'ors deuvres this eve. Some small rest and then to the beach! Mucho drinks - on 2nd round at this writing.
Swim with sufficient acknowledgement of its wonder. R suggests a swim to the seahorse which we do-- lifeguard cautions not to swim into the rocks- good idea--Nancy swims past 3 mantra rays! -- we bless the seahorse and walk to Bob who has dutifully and excellently guarded the belongings.
Conversation gets racy. Nieces are bawdy beach ladies, including uncle.
We get progressively silly . Nancy who is taking challenges, practices "I love your nipple ring. May I Kees it. 50 pesos." Actually she swims, partially on taunt from her sister, to a neighboring yacht and finally concerned unk swims to her; once on the beach she comments to a neighboring gay man about his blue toenails, and then of another man's, a Guadalaharian’s, tatoos. No harm done. The girls are having fun. Then Nancy in her next yacht swim accosts a denizen there and bombards her with her questions; the response: why u want to know this for? (Translation: don't fuck with potential drug laundering money). A Mexican sprite on the beach dances for the girls and is as responsible as anything for spurring us all (after 3 drinks apiece and as many swims) to leave.
B& R shop for odds and ends at the locals until we are all able to put together snacks with drinks on the ladies' spacious patio below our place. What fun. Will tomorrow offer as much pleasure?

SUNDAY, JUNE 10.
After many attempts to get the living room tv working to no avail, Bob leads us on a walk that departs from the usual malecon peregrination through the byways past the necessary ATM stop to the cuale where we preview Riviera Café’s buffet.
Beth, a little stomachey, decides not to join us after we refresh so later Nancy, R & B enjoy River walk’s gorgeous iguanas crawling on riverside tree branches to the accompaniment of brunch. We talk of Judy's new date and Andrea's boyfriend both of whom B & N may meet next week at the Blues Festival in San Diego so far away from this tropical setting. Listen to those birdies singing.
Post nap in the ( very) cool of our condo, the girls pick us up and soon this bird is singing to the (very) loud disco beat (this time green chairs beach has a dj). Yesterday mango margarita to start off; today pineapple. Man passing out Anthropology men-only club passes squeezes my knee and gives me a wink as if to suggest "opportunity to get away from your ladies."
"E ninio escutcheon a mi". Hey baby listen to me- the discernible lyrics—our only available seats at 2 pm on a Sunday are near the speakers.

Evening, Beth chooses to abandon Bob and Reuel to eat whereas we Need to see (and are invited to see) the Tony's in their condo. We go out and order to-go margarita (that word again) pizza at El Pizza Nostra, the local, effusive Jorge presiding – the pizza’s quite good and the girls join us later in our watchathon after their lonely (in that they were only patrons) dinner at Fusion. How do these restaurants- any purveyors for that matter- survive in this season?

MONDAY, JUNE 11.
We walk by ourselves along the malecon this AM. Hard to know when the open air Zumba class we often pass at this time actually occurs. Stop to look for flower shop where new chorus tkts are sold. Closed. R visits with the nieces and we reserve a day trip to Yelapa etc. for Wednesday . They go out to shop at the river while we contemplate a quiet lunch. "Going fishing today? No? You look like a professional fisherman." Street patter.

At a favorite of ours, Daiquari Dick's, (the flower shop was open, tickets purchased) a political candidate with his entourage, shirts emblazoned Ramon, shakes hands and gives gift pocket books "Ramon" imprinted to passersby. Ya gotta love it. A video camera follows. We watch the waves, drink our Chardonnay (350p) and eat our 1/2 Asian chicken salad (Bob) --dressing subtle- Caesar w shrimp (Reuel).

On Green Chairs beach (once green, now the chairs and the umbrellas are different colors), this time we have a front row seat it being Monday; a passing vendor, "how ‘bout weed, cocaine . . . “ Bob professes to want all those things but the guy has passed by. Some few hours later after one swim (R) and reading novels (both) a strutting fellow "Massage, happy ending" right here on the beach before sunlighted waves snaking the sand and whatever eyes would pry? We’re not high enough or ever amen “no grasious”.
Then 3 gorgeous very young men in very bikinis selling the gay cruise open bar go go boys cruise - slim pickings on the beach now apparently if they are stopping gay seniors with wedding bands - including one very Anglo blond. R asks “Why are you here in PV?” “Why not? We'll see what happens.” Then about us- "are you boyfriends?" "husbands" B answers - married, almost 40 years - acknowledged but time to move on, their tiny bums wagging down the beach.
The bill as our afternoon wanes , about $11 - I guess that's 55 p a drink + tip.
Beth joins us after my second swim.
After home made vodka tonics we brave the long journey downstairs to the El Dorado restaurant -- beach table if you please. Sublime. Alcohol continuing as before, Bob chardonnay. Others vodka tonics. Appetizers wonderful. Crustini. Coconut shrimp. Excellent. Noted that Nancy has 3 margaritas and winds up rocking in a hammock after a glorious sunset.

TUESDAY, JUNE 12
A 50 minute walk with the nieces along the malecon. Conversation topic: Judy's email about her missing teeth. We (R& B within limits) resolve to find and pay for a Mexican dentist for her. Only one vendor exhorting us to drink tequila at this early hour. We agree to meet in 2 hours for our last beach day together.
"Amigos, cheaper than Wal Mart." Another perfect beach day and green chairs is sparse when we enter - it will fill up later in the afternoon. Vodka tonics and club sandwiches.
Next episode: avoiding the family of skates (manta rays) seen jumping in the waves, at least from Beth's perspective- she standing at the edge of the shore for many minutes before seeking her “seester's” protection in the waves. Much levity as we ride interference and drag her back to shore afterwards.
Darn, I lose my goggles (really liked them) somewhere in the brackish water listening to the guy who had attempted to allay Beth's fears of the skates, apparently unsuccessfully since she never goes back in, just gazes worriedly at the fearsome water.
Tv, martinis, and we all go out to La Bohemio -- again -- for dinner -- Chardonnays (though Nancy loves her Margaritas) the fajiti fabuloso flaming things - sweet young waiter who recognizes us but there were/are only two tables of customers so what's the big deal -- Aztec dancers show up, well costumed, to whom we give a tip -- Beth doesn't like the imposition. R & B buy chocolate Popsicles at the Ozzo - great. Methinks Beth is depressed. Probably with good reason. We're all a little bummed about Judy's very public need for teeth.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 13.
We start on this adventure rather (too) early. Beth has an upset stomach.
I give the driver 20 pesos and ask for change—duh--R's 1st time sorting the funny money this trip, Bob's usual task.
Nancy very upset that the sea lion (adorable) at the marina where we board is made to pose for pictures and lets everyone know.
On our giant catamaran, the crew boys dance for us; entertaining cruise director.
All in all, well worth the money and the choice. Snorkeling -- how many times have I done this? Once. Despite murky waters in this rocky cove, I see fish, schools, individuals too, all tropical, also other snorkelers, and encounter some disagreeableness with the equipment. Then kayaking. Beth and Nancy have their own kayak. R tries, learns how to navigate his own. Not special. Glad I tried it though. Then on to Yelapa where we climb up the hillside past much jungly vegetation then to discover the waterfall. Very pretty as Is gorgeous Charlie—a regional boxing champion it is announced--of the crew who is soon bathing in it. Down to the beach, some bathing in the beautiful cove and some drinking.

The long ride back along gorgeous coastline- the jungle hills, those Charybdisian rocks—broken up by crew entertainment, Popeyes with a crew guy as sweet pea, zoombying R delighted and then, including ah Charlie, they all break dance expertly. Very impressed.

R dresses in his all-white tropics outfit and we proceed - last night for the girls - to Garbo's - house martinis - one denizen jealous bitch says "Get him " as I exit - style scares - and then dinner at Coco's (where Bob, released to his own recognizance for the day, had a pleasant lunch) bottle of chard, h'ors deuvres and salads - excellent - the uncles' treat for about $100 -- not counting Garbo's. Little enough and Why not.

THURSDAY, JUNE 14.

For whom the kettle tolls. The tea kettle's whistle gets R up at 7:30--good night's sleep, never continuous. B much disgruntled over losing his nook wi-fi connection is unsuccessfully trying various passwords. (later he piggybacks on another denizen's frequency - we'll see how long).

"Senors, wristbands . . . Cock rings?" This said now just to the two of us, not the usual quartet - though not likely the girls would have taken the meaning - after having paid our goodbyes to them in their 2 bedroom condo. How lovely to have spent this time with them. Earlier we’d gone for their final malecon lap and then to Daiquiri Dick's for an excellent breakfast. Bob ham and cheese omelette - lot of food - and Reuel a densely packed breakfast burrito- a lot of food. B and N chorizo and eggs and a goat cheese and spinach omelette.

Another beautiful - albeit humid - day 7 in a row.

Besieged by competing groups of go go boys selling gay cruises. Tiny speedos. One is the Wet and Wild cruise. I say we're wet but not wild. Bob confides he is waiting for the AARP version. More vendors . "Buy now pay later senors." time to go in for my 2nd swim.
At Garbo's the expats are in for their happy hour drinks and we have hit-us-again martinis at 85 pesos each - not my idea of happy hour prices but we always enjoy the sophisticated surroundings - we took the girls there last night and said hello to Herman, the owner, who pretends he remembers us -- Bob says you'd do the same - true. I have.

Beth calls. Plane was late; they were detained for not having tourist cards.
El Dorado restaurant puts up this inflatable screen-- it's Thursday night after all. We've been thinking about next year, do we want to rent this condo again -- it comes with perks despite it's drawbacks-- the aging equipment, for example.
On the other hand as we await the film on the inflatable screen we view from our balcony- a Mexican masterpiece no doubt, El Inferno - the beauty of our view is undeniable - gorgeous sunset and the panorama nuances seen and unseen.
No subtitles on the film which as far as I can tell is satirical on the war on drugs so inside we content ourselves on chocolate Popsicles. A perfect post script to the single pizza sliced leftovers. Neat.

FRIDAY JUNE 15.
"We wait for you guys" exhorted as we walk, no longer with lady companions, first along byways of charming old town looking for Trio; we discovered we'd mistaken it for Gaby's which we enjoyed last year for lunch. Too early today (though we’d gotten up late this morning and didn't leave our cocoon until 10) for that treat so on our way back we stop at the little gourmet group of shops that Bob discovered earlier on his Boy’s Day Out including Mikey's where we purchase bread, pâté, etc. for future home pleasures.

Lunch nearby at beachside Coco's Tropicale (we determine that Little Shrimp - another beachsider we haven't tried is really serious about fish - next!) Starting off with a martini and a chard. Then shame to say roquefort hamburgers and fries (we seeking cool dine in the covered shade). One elderly woman with a dog on the patio drinking something pink later joins an elderly gent sitting at the bar reading - only other patrons.

I guess it's the sun that zonks us out but we rest before heading to green chairs 2 ish. On the way "you guys look like honeymooners" (he's selling the Wet and Wild cruise, which Bob confides that over his dead body he’d take, of course). Bob reading Updike's Rabbit at Rest found in our host Gary Gist's library, Reuel Grafton's P is for Peril free on Philadelphia library ebooks - problem with these detective series, editions of which the wealthy authors churn out yearly, is remembering which you've read before - R 2 swims and we back home to prepare for a cocktail somewhere . We find that the Crows Nest gay bar on the hill is wanting (as in wanting patrons) so inevitable Garbo's beckons for a happy hour martini. This time just one other patron, and deep voiced sympatico Herman (Pablo scurrying about) behind the bar - we tell our tale of selling the wine bar and getting closer to full retirement. We talk weather of course and with John ? The patron (who has a place and spends 5 months here) politics - no disagreements this time. In time 8:40 to catch the beautiful sunset very Japanese now from the always empty communal deck and from our patio. I write Gary G to authorize a replacement tv - which he has in storage here anyway - for the defunct one in the LR. Sandwiches and so to bed.

SATURDAY, JUNE 16
Dawdling at home this morning. Talking with Gary owner about his tv.
He sounds oldish and a little doddering, emphasizes how only he and one other unit share a satellite for those American stations for which we are grateful . Couldn't determine whether he said he has cancer or he didn't cancel the satellite - probably the latter.
Saturday farmers market - nice feel - mostly ex pats - we buy after proffered samples some husk wrapped foods. Then we discover Marcia's "Found" table. She buys jewelry and recycles them. R buys a possibly copper bracelet and is filled with joy. Then we buy a necklace that she fashioned for Dorothy. She accepts 150 pesos each. We notice that the gay men's concert for which we have tickets is sold out. Good deal.
Malecon walk.

Here we are, the last day Kaiser Maximilian is open before its summer sabbatical - missed it before it closed last year. A little olde Vienna in Mexico. Martini and chard and we order spinach strudel with mixed greens as per Chef Mavis’s recommendation. 2 wines please. An appetizer size on the streudels but lovely. Desserts The Maximilian and the paradise. Mmmm. Mmemorable Mmeal. Deserving of an hour nap before heading beachward. Since we're late and it's Saturday, the beach is full. All we're able to forage is a palapa in the rear directly in front of the dj and his speakers - we'll emerge deaf but maybe more rhythmic.

Let's see, back, shower and cocktails at home. Then a walk along the malecon which, pre sunset, is transformed, packs of real people, as opposed to gringos, roaming - the bustle is enlivening. The living statues have fans now, the whirling pole climbers have an audience, etc. and then there is rain, actually invigorating in the heat. Home wine and tv, the last of the sunset and a shared brownie.

SUNDAY, JUNE 17. 4TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

The usual Sunday shows - Chris Hayes and Melissa Perry

40 pesos to get up the hill - no thank you to walk that in the sun - to Casa Cupula's Tastes restaurant.
At least we get a photo taken and there is a flurry of excitement about the iguanas in the adjacent trees, one busy chomping on the leaves and lifting his magnificent head to do so, another barely visible so perfect is his green camouflage. However, Bob especially is disappointed in the brunch buffet - not exactly a munificent spread. The setting though is lovely in this quasi jungle setting above the bay ( we were here last year) but we won't revisit. PS. Reuel suffering some Tourista - lay it at the door of Tastes too?

After our nap, Reuel must go it alone for a swim. Bob sees me off making sure I have everything, keys, towels, etc. I a little frightened but feeling suddenly adult on my way to Green chairs, now full so I find a chair in the rear. One swim, one vodka tonic, and starting Grisham's The Broker then back to Bob left alone on his anniversary.

Boutique Theatre . 20 minute walk and we arrive a half hour early - more time to sweat in this 3/4 round theatre - filled up with audience of about 85. It's warm but programs doubling as fans help. Same programs reveal 28 singers. 17 Mexican , 10 non. I guess I couldn't decide about one. Audience mostly gringos - um ex pats - many of them women of a certain age.
First song Song- no harmony but bilingual. Rather sweet. Personal stories - some Spanish, some English- translated on a screen - of Mexican familial prejudice, coming out, death of partner told emotionally and accompanied by a song the confessor sings -- hello young lovers , you need a friend, etc. Founder, Bob Brugger flower guy who sang with Seattle MC - hence tie-in with Dennis Coleman - says in his welcome that he confided in his good friend, a woman, who now is board pres, in March that he wanted to do this. So seems he got it together very quickly - admirable. Next concert Xmas holiday in the big theatre Teatro Vallarta- Bob expects 100 singers for that. Many expats being not here in summer. 60 signed up now. This event –first gay chorus in Latin America’s first performance seemed and is appropriate for our anniversary.

We pass the busses going to the Marina and elsewhere - someday we'll try one for a 50p adventure. "Ola amigos, rain coming." it's "our" neighborhood pizza man and we almost escape the rain before making it home. Seems evening rain can be the norm here.
Bob tossing together a salad from Mike's, the dressing Mavi's. We toast our fourth anniversary. The clatter awakens the mechanical caged bird (yes this is a campy joint) who sings Ode To Joy (its repertoire consists of that and Mary Had A Little Lamb).
Trying to watch a James Bond movie - lightning and then "complete signal loss". O well. Unfortunately signal back on through the untidy mess of a movie..

MONDAY JUNE 18.
After a breakfast of toast and tea we laze around - getting more adept at that - and discovering that I can't determine if Gaby's is open for lunch we head 11 30 ish for the beach and any choice of front row seats. First swim the bay is almost pool still and as clear. I sight a few fish in my swim but not yet bump into any manta rays. Lunch, Gregorio server, is a club for Bob and a perfectly fine grilled mahi mahi only slightly dry with al dente veggies and rice for me. 2nd swim and I pass more fish on my way out to the seahorse of the bay - not brightly colored however like the snorkel expedition fish. A gaggle of gay men seem excited by their siting of rays close to the shore so I decide to exit.

Bob finishes Rabbit At Rest, found at the condo, and declares he'll never read a good novel again. The waves are splashing more ostentatiously against the shore. The same gaggle of 7 gay men bobbing more or less in a semi- circle haven't moved in hours.
Back home for showers and cocktails with fab pate.
After a while, let's face it, we've grown too comfortable with our lot to seek sit-down dining even at steps away Fusion or La Bohemio, so it's off for pizza at La Pizza Nostra where our effusive now BFF, Jorge, greets us effusively and after mere moments of conversation about the wisdom of our choice to be in PV now, we have our take home pizza Deluxe. Red wine works well. And we don't even miss out on Rachel Madow.
Reuel retires early as usual; Bob stays on to wait for the nightly rain and lightning show at 11:30ish.

TUESDAY JUNE 19.

Though we start out on our malecon walk at 9 rather than 8:30, the weather is unusually pleasant - absent the near-fatal humidity. We note the silt pouring into the bay likely from that previous evening's rain storm. We head back to Coco's - we think she's the blonde lurking about. Bob likes his French toast stuffed with cream cheese and marmalade. I'm not smitten with the salmon, cream cheese and onion omelette - I guess it's not Jewish enough, that is, mommy-style chopped ingredients. The corn bread is quite nice though.
At the beach at one o'clock but plenty of front row seating available. The young man passing out Club Anthropology passes says it’s an all new show. I wonder what can be new about male strippers stripping.
Next--"almost free my friend," but even free who really wants a wooden marlin?
First swim (at first Margarita) discover that as soon as I pass the Seahorse there are rocks and fishermen casting lines. Not propitious swiming .
Finish Grisham's The Broker. Perfect beach read. Maybe I can get more sleep now - Stephen Fry's early memoir should help with that.
And then there's the old beggar woman who Bob saw busily counting her change in the rear of the beach, an all-business lady - this time making painful noises as she leans heavily on her cane and when the neighboring gay Hispanics give her a tip she raises her eyes and free arm hystrionically toward the heavens. A performance worthy of a Mexican Tony.
Cocktails at home, repetitive political tv, and out to . . . Fusion is closed on Tuesday - of course - so its Bohemio, cheap but less enthusiastic alternative though the gay manager and his cute gay waiter always add points. Where are the wives the latter asks, and we explain. "I missed you." How can you resist these con artists. Me fajita fabulosa whatever - shrimp, chicken, beef flambed. And 2 for one drinks. Me martinis. We leave for under $30 including generous tip.
Then glorioso sunset at home starting at 8:40 on our terrace, the soft strains from El Dorado on the beach. God purty.

WEDNESDAY JUNE 20.
Just out of midday nap and I mean mid-day - its 3. We had to wait for the maid to finish cleaning by sitting on the pool terrace constrained to watch the shenanigans on the bay - a young couple for example trying to right themselves on surf boards. Before paddling with oars. Plop. Back in the drink again. I guess the ill-timing with the maid is due to our lunching at Fusion steps from our door at the funny ministrations of our gay waiter (romantic zone abounds on 'em). Martini and chard plus a chicken burrito - the quesadilla quite good. - recommended. Bob enamored of his chicken quesadillas and 2 chards. Whole thing under $35 US.

This morning in acceptably unhumid weather our walk - many dogs to photograph- takes us more north than usual and we discover that the shopping street has been vastly improved for strollers. Also discover Ley - across from Teatro Vallarta where there is mostly Mexican fare and hence two lost customers - a giant supermarket oh wonder of wonders . Note: instead of seeking Cosco at beginning of PV sojourn ( which we never did anyway) stock up here. Then we head to Los Mercados and Mikey's there, Reuel purchasing a martini glass from, we guess, the little mall's ex-pat owner - she and her husband (we guess) having their coffee at one of the outdoor tables there _ clearly an authority, she recommends Level 1 vodka, as we wait for the humorless but attractive American clerk to boil an egg upstairs for our chef salads. Reuel then purchases a flowery bathing suit this one is suit #4 (size #3) at the local bathing suitery.
Nap time post lunch. And then I doff the new flower patterned suit, towel, keys and head to our El Dorado beach, dropping my stuff like a thief to swim to the green chairs, a populated swimming hole, and of necessity back.

Martinis in the new glass and dinner of the new salad.
Of course just around sunset the "weather" starts and there is rain - this means the tv satellite goes nuts and we have a lovely time on our balcony watching the variegated sky.

THURSDAYJUNE 21

Much relaxing in the AM, the usual MSNBC shows, so we don't head out to Gaby's until after noon. Whirring sound of our Cadillac Margaritas being concocted. We decide to stick with last year's menu since it was perfect, Cadillac, sizzling fajitas for 2 and bananas flambé for 2. This time the old owner man serves us - I guess they laid Saul (last year’s on again off again waiter) off again - and again we're the only guests, this time in the delightful courtyard with mini- waterfall (specially turned on for us) coursing through the lush vegetation.
Second Cadillac on the rocks is even better - note. Gorgeous cat getting no food from us - we're doing very well. Quite full so foregoing the dessert this time:
Meandering back after those 2 Cadillacs each, it's now 2:30 for nap. Two hour nap! In training for the nap Olympics to be held next year in PV.
Gotta get in a swim starting at El Dorado's then to the Sea Horse and back again. Salty but essential.
Dinner after cocktails is the remainder pizza - yea - and a popsicle. Goodnight.

FRIDAY JUNE 22.

Weather helpful on our early malecon walk. Off to Green Chairs Ritmos early with promise to Bob we'd leave early (which, turned out, we do). Hankering for club sandwiches and abstemious, water, Reuel 2 swims. 2nd the hustler who like all vendors passing by but asked "want some action?" “Am I too bold?” "Uh yes", in the water says "I stick it in you?" Reuel swimming swiftly away in answer. Later after cocktails and vowing to go out to Garbo and then Fusion we watch the rain coming in most aesthetically but putting some kabosh on those plans. Of course rain throws the satellite dish out of whack so . . . Though Bob had been so considerate to select one of the Sirius house music channels so Reuel can dance, there is only a half hour of gyrational opportunity available and then watching the heavy rain from our balcony - actually very pretty. Might as well have another. Rain ends but we're in for the night. Share the last pizza slice and a popsicle each. Nighty night.

SATURDAY JUNE 23.
Today is for breaking out of the formulaic PV day. First off to the Saturday market where we purchase bagels from "our" bread man (as good as New York the gal who sold me my copper bracelet last week says). And some nice-smelling Mexican hand soaps for Don. Then we stop off at a penthouse condo at the El Dorado - our condo building - that's for sale. ($399K). After much quizzing of the agent, Alfredo, about such as HOA fees, foreign ownership limitations ( renewable after 50 years - what do we do then?) and loans - 35% down, only 2 banks will do them, we make an appointment with him for Monday to see other condos. Well it's what we do!

And here we are on the marina district where we first had lunch at Mavis condo (100p taxi ride) now at Las Paloma's de Dorado (that name again) sipping a quite decent L.A. Cetto white wine, nice view on the marina to the green mountains beyond listening to the sounds of a male Mexican singer being very emotional about something. Now change of pace Stranger In Paradise in Mexican. Bob's 9 oz filet mignonette in a mushroom sauce is tasty; my chefs (mahi mahi) filet in white wine sauce with shrimp and mussels is quite good - Bob says he would eat it (grand praise indeed from this fish-phobe).
Back, Bob goes out for a bottle of wine while Reuel remains in for the evening with various dance music channels to provide inspiration for some whirling and fast-stepping. Advantage of satellite dish.

SUNDAY JUNE 2.
Chris and Melissa and bagels. Feels like an ordinary Sunday morning. Set out after 1.
Si Signor for brunch - cut above.
Attractive server pours tequila into our margaritas and asks when. I say “oops forgot to say when. . .”
Attractive couple playing and singing. Unfortunately he's a little tone deaf. I discover (again?) my amazing translator - I can speak in English and it will repeat vocally in Spanish. Bob says I have a way to occupy the afternoon. Bob has the cheeseburger. The next table guest asks how it is and Bob replies that it tastes like meatloaf. I have the brunch - a variety of Mexican tastes - some of which I like.
Our server finds us in the 7-eleveny Oxxo right after we pay up - seems he undercharged us so back again to take care of that.
Lazing about the condo - its Sunday after all - we then walk along Amapas south past the unfinished condo bldg we'll probably see tomorrow. If they take a couple of years it might work for us. Back to the condo, I decide to forgo my late afternoon swim - the excuse being that the waves are rough. So countdown to cocktails at Garbo's as we watch maybe our tenth Househunters of the day. A condo in Paraguay anyone?
And almost inevitably, and what the wind and those rough waves betokened, thunder and then the rain.
A dry patch and Garbo's it is.

MONDAY JUNE 25.

That was fun, says Bob, about our adventure viewing condos for sale with pumped up Alfredo. 1. New building Amapas553; we don hard hats and head up risky stairs, past workmen, to see essentially empty shells except for the nice one bedroom at $292,000 that shows some of the finishes.. 2. Hillside charmer - finished to perfection, 1 br and 2 baths - but $319K. Then a pretty mean little 1 br - glorified studio in next-door’s condo building La Palapa - $299K; and a view-challenged 1 Br in El Dorado we could probably buy for $250,000. Forget it.

Fusion 1 o’clock-ish immediately after our shopping expedition. Only patrons us. Spring rolls appetizer. Recommended. Note order stoli; it's only $5.60 (bobs chard - good - is $4.70 U.S.). B chile Rejenos; R beef quesadilla, both admirable.

Mens sana in corpore sano. A healthy mind in a healthy body. So after our post prandial nap, though late we head to the beach that we had an arial view of from the first unfinished condo building. I swim in the rough sea swatting away flotsam (or jetsam) and after we've paid our drinks bill and packed up we search for the stairs up to that building. Um, later for that climb.
Night in. Bagels and much watching the wine dark sea’s magic.

TUESDAY JUNE 26.
Morning Joe on cable. One advantage of being two hours ahead.
Off and on rainy morning. Print boarding passes. Bob says he recognizes the legs of the waiters. We’re in our downstairs restaurant where from our balcony we see the bottoms of the waiters as they prep every day. Reuel tries the apple pie martini which he likes. Bob blue cheeseburger quite good. R fish tacos yummy. Hot with the sauce.
And it’s nice getting a discount for residing at the El Dorado. But we read Gary Holt’s email about a legal question and this sends a cloud over our spirits. Turns out there was a real rain cloud over us so no choice but to watch the now-dramatic bay, drink, read and occasionally watch tv - occasional because the rain intermitently disrupts our satellite signal. Garbo's - first in so we get Herman's undivided attention until the other regs start in from the rain.
Mikeys gourmet takeout lasagna at home and so to bed.

WEDNESDAY JUNE 27
Confirm our pickup. Beautiful clear day - the colors are vivid as we walk along the malecon and look out at the bay later from our Daquiri Dick’s table steered to by our jolly waiter. Bob wisely chooses a half Chinese chicken salad, Reuel "the best club sandwich on the Pacific", possibly so but next time only have 2 of the 3 big sections. Stoli martini only $6.15 (85 pesos).

Earlier, on the malecon, we witness an expat woman screaming at her dog not to attack a wounded pelican in the water (and earlier than that we’d watched pelicans gracefully silhouetted against the sky, then suddenly diving to scoop up their fish) - the whole beach watches in disapproval at the sorry spectacle as the dog persists repeatedly. The dog finally emerging from its carnage and pulled by its hysterical mistress looks like a pit bull - miserable cur. The vendors yell at the woman toclean up the dead bird.

"Tomorrow more expensive." according to the vendor on Ritmos beach. But tomorrow at this time we should be winging our way away from this paradise.
Uncharacteristically Bob buys a blue glass dolphin mobile 150 pesos (down from 250 - R negotiates) $10.86. Hasta luego he says whatever that means.
We say our goodbyes to Herman at Garbo's and discover that his good friend whose partner is Bob Bruneau Of Flowers to Go and director of the new PV Gay Men's Chorus is the brother of Mavi Graf, the chef at whose home we had a cooking lesson lunch. Must tell Beth. Small world.

“Ah my friends. You are my favorites!” This from Jorge as he hugs us and we order a medium 180 peso pizza with all the fixings to go at Pizza Nostra. “I'll miss you tomorrow my friends.” (He sounds suspiciously like an over-the-top Italian.)
"Lovely evening, lovely send off" says Bob after we enjoy the increasing rain and lightning display from our balcony. Otherwise it's quiet - that satellite dish signal having again been knocked out during the storm. We say goodnight to Rachel Maddow as she and the world wonder what the Supremes will have decided about healthcare tomorrow.

THURSDAY JUNE 28.
Ah the responsibilities of getting back on the road this AM. But first Reuel swims in the lovely bay at 7:30 and as far as I can see I’m the only swimmer in the bay though there are many strollers along the beach. Intending to swim to the seahorse but I see two things floating ahead - closer and they are some kind of floating sandals. And then something black on the beach - looks like a wet suit. Not wishing to bump into a dead body, I turn around - don't need red tape on the day we leave PV. Bad Reuel. Other rationalizations follow but I continue the pleasant swim. Then we head up the block for Coco's special $4 breakfast before the packing-our-stuff ritual at which Bob is the shaman-in-chief. Gotta write our PV landlord that the LR air conditioner is not working and the BR tv as of this AM is sputtering, send Dorothy birthday greetings, and get ready to get back in the mix.
Gratuities: Lola the maid 600p; Sam and Lopita 100p each. 11:50 am.120 p fare to airport.
12:15 at the airport and we wait. The Volaris line opens 12:30.
Huge line behind us.Very slow. 696p for Xtra weight. Puts me in a bad mood - especially the foreignness of it all. Buy ditsy. Phillip Roth's Nemesis to save cell phone reading battery for communication with our driver. Lunch - I have worlds most well-done burger. Bob however likes his club sandwich. Actually things go well. Mark our driver (Yosief the boss sends him - an Hispanic -- because Yosief doesn't want to deal with the police, bribes, and robberies – scary. (Consider flying internationally next time.) He is waiting for us and our biggest worry, our lack of tourist cards, doesn't come up. We breeze through. 75 minutes later we’re home!