WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE BOB AND REUEL? ... AND WHO ARE THIS BOB AND REUEL ANYWAY

2016--JANUARY 9-24.

HAWAII FROM LA ON THE PRINCESS RUBY.

Sat, 01/09/16	Los Angeles, California View general port information San Pedro Pier 93 Los Angeles World Cruise Ctr 100 Swinford Avenue Check In 1:00pm-3:00pm	– 4:00pm
Sun, 01/10/16	At Sea
Mon, 01/11/16	At Sea
Tue, 01/12/16	At Sea
Wed, 01/13/16	At Sea
Thu, 01/14/16	Hilo, Hawaii	9:00am – 6:00pm
Fri, 01/15/16	Honolulu, Hawaii	7:00am – 11:00pm
Sat, 01/16/16	Kauai (nawiliwili), Hawaii	8:00am – 5:00pm
Sun, 01/17/16	Maui (lahaina), Hawaii  Tender Required wheelchair Access Limited	7:00am – 6:00pm
Mon, 01/18/16	At Sea
Tue, 01/19/16	At Sea
Wed, 01/20/16	At Sea
Thu, 01/21/16	At Sea
Fri, 01/22/16	At Sea
Sat, 01/23/16	Ensenada, Mexico	8:00am – 5:00pm
Sun, 01/24/16	Los Angeles, California  View general port information San Pedro Pier 93 Los Angeles World Cruise Ctr 100 Swinford Avenue

At 8:30 Eric, a genial man whose accent I am trying to fathom, (later to learn he's originally from Greece and Egypt, came to San Diego from PA 15 years ago "for a blind date") picks us up in a black limo and we're a couple of swells again.

JUST A FEW THINGS

DIN DIN ON THE FLY

This is a journey of revisiting. First a few years ago we sailed on the Ruby around the Mediterranean, transatlantic I think, and remember it as being a lovely ship. As to Hawaii, I first traveled to Honolulu more than 30 years ago to set up an interconnect telephony program there--find space for the school, hire management, meet with the city funding agency to persuade them of the merits and explain the intricacies of our program. The governor at that time wanted to expand job opportunities beyond the hospitality industry into technology. The flaw of course is that you can't create jobs for a virtually non-existent industry. The holiday part of Hawaii visits came about for Bob's 50th birthday. Yikes 27 years ago!

We especially loved Kawaii and thought of taking mean advantage of the fact that it had just been devastated by a hurricane to buy a condo and indulged a favorite disposition to tour real estate. Reason I suppose prevailed.

 Next we visited the islands via an RSVP cruise (on the inferior to Princess Norwegian American line) and palled around with its MC Danny and husband Brian.  I know it was around Halloween because our car wound up as the lead in a Halloween parade on Maui much to the befuddlement of the natives I suspect. We just waved at them like the celebrities we felt entitled to be.

We don't anticipate mad adventures of that sort this time but one never knows. After all we plummeted into a volcano eruption in Indonesia and I destroyed a world heritage wall in Machu Pichu.

The trip to San Pedro is a breeze, about an hour and 50 minutes on a Saturday non-working day.

Wonder why we have  

to "register" our wine before our second waiting room period before boarding. Looks like some Elite are boarding  a little after 11:30. TIP: Get pickup to Long Beach at 9 so don't mind waiting for previous trip's disembarkation, the firing up of the computers and clearance for embarkation. Board at 12.

Here we are in God's waiting room as we await the call for preferred check-in. Bob thinks the average age is 70. Though we are concerned about our weight gains, not slimmed down for the epic eating that awaits, in this crowd of fatties we are decidedly unintimidated. "We're slim," says Bob.

As usual we're among the first in the DaVinci dining room after dropping off our things in our cabin 502. "Looks familiar." Settling into familiar routine. Having attention danced on us. Greystone cab. "Opens up nicely." B. Tuscan style chickpea soup. "Tastes homemade unlike the soups we're used to" (which we have at home ironically)Spinach and ricotta cheese ravioli. Quite nice. R. Antipasto of dry-cured salami (very pretty. With balsamic swizzle. ) good too. Salmon and roasted vegetables. (Excellent.) For our dessert, the apple tart tatin. Bob, though he is equally culpable, says that from now on I must eat sparingly like a simple lettuce leaf on my plate. Mutual smirk.

Let the spending begin so we buy a wine club card which gives us a 28% discount on our wine bottle purchases and a reservation at the new Share restaurant for the first formal night.

Same old ship but Princess is constantly improving. For example, now we can get the day's event schedule on our iPhones.

Flirty Marlon our steward shows up to give us the usual list of what he will do for us. He's charming. Says this is his last trip after 9 months. He'll get a three month hiatus and then be reassigned. He soon reappears with our glasses of champagne. Marlon tells us that the seas can be rough. Of our Pride magnet on the door (for leaving and holding notes). Is that yours? He asks. Yes. I thought, he says with a twinkle in his eyes, that it might have been the previous passengers'.

Having escaped comparatively unscaved from the emergency drill (don't jump in the ocean; if necessary, just step off). Don't enter staff quarters even if invited. (Ripple of amused murmurs at that one from the assembled seniors).

5:0'clock and we'in the Skywalkers Lounge, crowded probably because half the ship are platinum or elites invited to have Mexican appetizers with $5 margueritas. We are lucky  to find a booth looking out at the ocean as we sail away. We take a pass on the much desired appetizers.

Biding time before the LGBT cocktail hour we watch various biographies, Michelangelo, Khadafi on the two in-cabin tv's.

HOME AWAY FROM HOME

At first there's only four of us at the LGBT mixer with Gary and Larry from Palm Springs and Anna the hostess from the cruise staff, a pleasant Mexican woman who reveals she's a lesbian. Then two younger couples arrive, still a paltry showing for a first night. The center of the party is an Austrian guy who is funny with his "stage Austrian" accent declaring that Edelweiss from The Sound of Music is "not the Austrian national anthem." I found his remark that the Austrians rejected Sound of Music because of its dark depiction of Nazis interesting.  His lover, an American, clearly appreciates him. And then our conversation interrupted we learn that the ship is turning back to San Pedro because someone is having a medical emergency. Yikes!

FIRST SKYWALKERS COCKTAILS

We're not entranced by the awkwardness of the LGBT setup and leave to catch the 8 pm intro show in progress. I'm impressed with the slickness of it all, maybe the glibness personified by the cruise manager who is remarkable. Bad jokes but it's the connection.  Same for the country western (Blech) singer. He connects with the audience, pulls out the stops. Ends with story of redemption because he had diabetes and dreadful ailments (like most of this audience) and survived to sing, you guessed it, "You'll  Never Walk Alone". This permits us to retire to our cabin and order our favorite food in all the

world, a club sandwich accompanied by the wine we brought. Hope we're away from San Pedro tomorrow creeping toward somewhere in Hawaii.

SUNDAY JAN 10. AT SEA.

At "real" breakfast (rather than the room service kind) we have frittatas con funghi with sausage and polenta. Plus focaccia.  All of it absurdly good.

At the Internet desk the new connectivity is delightful, so far that is, getting the daily schedule on one's iPhone and easy Internet. We'll see.

(Not so fast bud. There will be problems.)

Standing here unwillingly listening to bible study (Oy) only because it's in the same room as the upcoming Zumba class. As Rocco, our san diego PT, might say. I'm afraid I'll blow up in a fiery pile in the presence of all this piety.

Raymond (the one from Austria) joins me for Zumba with Angela the deputy cruise director. I steal my first row spot. She's feisty and energetic. Though I'm essentially one armed (dancing with a "massive" torn rotator cuff on my favored arm--what fun) I keep up.

LECTURE: ASSASSINATION OF ROBERT KENNEDY.

Lecturer is former prosecutor/ historian for LA police department. Yes Kennedy would have been president after winning the California primary the night he was shot. Would have changed the course of history. SirhanSirhan was a Palestinian who hated Israel. (Hmm little has changed.)

Police found incriminating evidence at his home without a search warrant. But authorities affirmed that information as valid later because considered an emergency. SS took witness stand. Defense said he had diminished capacity because of mental illness. (Fell off a horse.) Got death penalty. But in 1972 CA voided death penalty.

Worthwhile lecture.

PUB LUNCH. Perhaps we shouldn't go to the first one that's offered because the line is enormous and the event's popularity usually diminishes with the repeats. But once the "pub" opens were quickly seated.

We order Strongbow Ale (two would knock us on our respective bums) which we think we had in a pub in London and bangers and mash though most everyone else seems to be having fish and chips. Interesting concept of service. They serve all the fish and & chips first before serving the bangers and mash. But they seem to have forgotten our order. When it comes, Bob "it's very much comfort food." "That's the idea", I reply. Very satisfying as is the bread and butter pudding. (Yummy on the latter.)

We catch the end of the frenetic shopping guy lecture as we wait for the HAWAII CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS LECTURE of Dr. Sharron Faff. About the underlying spirit of Aloha. "Just say aloha and Mahalo" is her advice.

 Mark Twain started Hawaiian tourism with his reports. Give leis in welcome. Pele goddess of peace. Plumeria flower. Hikau is a head lei. At first no grass in Hawaii so no grass skirts. Actuall made from big Tei leaves.

Leis also used for special occasions--graduations, birthdays. Celebrants Get covered in leis. Statues of luminaries covered with leis on their birthdays.

Duke Kahanamoku. His statue often covered in lei. Each island represented by a flower and color in parades.

For millions of years, these were desolate islands. 1st came marine animals. Monk seals 12 million years, ex. Turtles, whales. All come back to give birth.
Birds next. Brought seeds to this volcanic mass. Moved from island to island. Covered with rainforests.

After 70 Million years people arrived. This was Only 1200 years ago. Travelled 2400 miles of ocean to get there from Polynesia. Brought gods and goddesses, plants and animals.

250 years ago westerners came, starting with captain cook. C.1800 clipper ships and whalers. Came by the 100's. Didn't kill whales in Hawaii but in Alaska where they are biggest. Brought their gods. Any culture is found in Hawaii.

Not many Hawaiians left after Captain Cook. Weren't willing to work the fields. Brought in workers from everywhere, eg China. Plantations were owned by missionaries. In 1990's they were shut down because of the minimum wage act except for small ones in Mauii--to be shut down. The land fallow because of pesticides. Plantations developed into housing etc. now Mac nuts, coffee, bananas.

 

   In 1860's steamships start coming. SF To Honolulu $125 round trip.

Took 8 days on steamers to come over--the rich and famous.

      1926--Dole started a race to see who  could fly over fastest. 1927--Hawaiian air, extant today, began service.

Military presence before WW2. Then Dec 7,1941 (Reuel's birth year!) Pearl Harbor was bombed.

1959 granted statehood. 50th state.

Hawaii has 7 million visitors a year but no ferry service between the islands.

Surfing is great because of the huge waves that come from Alaska.

Only the Big island has erupting volcanos. Maui is best for whale watching. Females give birth there.

        After some rest we take a brisk walk through the upstairs regions of this ginormous ship which we learn after changing my credit card (for 2X miles Cap One) at the concierge desk is totally full. Folks watch the football game on the great screen in the windy al fresco under their covers as we whisk by.

Finally (it seems we've been here forever even though it's only our second day) I get to wallow in the jacuzzi of the adult pool--warm not hot--and enjoy the steam and sauna rooms of the men's spa before showering there. Then to rendezvous with Bob in our cabin as we wonder how to spend the evening. We're pretty clear that we'll substitute the preferred package cocktail hour for the LGBT group.

Today we find a wonderful table on port side of our penthouse perch and order a favorite drink, the chairman of the board, served martini style. ($5 for us preferred types.)

The blandishments of fresh salmon on toast points are irresistible to moi (Bob has cheese). Ok there's no rush, everything's  perfect, so we have another. We talk of all the experience we've had, ups and downs, but how we've always ventured out there. This conversation is prompted by the inane chatter of last evening's LGBT group, fine upstandings all, in light of what we could have said to them from the perspective of what we've done in our lives. I turn to Bob who says "We're relaxing after a long day of relaxing."

We stand for a while to watch the lounge act ventriloquist singer who is mildly entertaining. What's with all this "country" slant in Princess's programming though? Of the entertainer in the maxed-to-the-gills Princess (never seen it this full) Bob sums it up. "He puts on a good show I really didn't want to be at." Ukulele for gods sake, corny jokes, yodeling, tall tales.

DINNER. Finishing last afternoon's cab. R. Field greens. San Francisco style cioppino. (Has integrity but I'm not fond of the broth) .B. Pea soup. Grilled lentil cakes with egg. (I think very brave of him but he very much likes it. I say nevertheless that if it ever appears on the menu again, he may not be in the mood.

We're really tired. Can sleep be far behind?

MONDAY JANUARY 11. AT SEA

What awaits?

Proper Breakfast. R. Fruit medley and cottage cheese (chopped up, really nice combo of flavors. I'm thinking we need a Chopping machine at home.) Bagel and lox. Who can go wrong? Oh there is the chocolate pastry but we won't mention it. B. Toast and Raisin Bran. And a pastry also not to be mentioned. As we waddle out one notes the protruberances of the elderly gentlemen, great rounded beachballs leading them along. "I think we just left the Home," says Bob.

ZUMBA.

Bob also up for Zumba. We're the first at a half hour early. This seems to be a more reserved Zumba culture aboard this ship. They don't rush in early to reserve their spots but sit demurely on the sidelines until minutes before class. I'm the only one either standing on or marking my spot with a towel.

HONOLULU LECTURE. Waikiki used to be a swamp. Silky waters. Diamond head is a dynamic crater. Named after the calcite crystals sailors saw when entering the harbor. Hali = home. Because of reef systems on north shores waves break higher--50 ft. So great surfing. Haliewa in particular. Big island has mostly black sand beaches because it's the newest.

Polynesian cultural center--Recommended.

Luaus: Family gathering. Pigs cooked in underground ovens--emus. 7 different Polynesian villages are represented.

Fireworks at night at 8pm. From the Hilton.

LECTURE: LIFE AND DEATH OF MARILYN MONROE. Her mother had a difficult life. Married at 14. Family history of mental problems.

Investigated but never sufficient evidence to file a case. 

Marilyn was born illegitimate. Raised by foster parents.

Jim Dougherty married her; she's 16 so she escapes going to an orphanage.

Models @ 19.

Husband back from war wants her to stop modeling. She divorces him.

Chooses her mother's maiden name Monroe in 1946.

1956 so pleased with her new contract because she wouldn't have to sleep with actors or directors.

She became a Jew for Arthur Miller. Miller convinced her to do Some Like it Hot.

She had 2 miscarriages; then didn't make a movie after each. Divorced Miller after she read his condescending diary entry.

Her mother died 20 years after Marilyn's death. Fascinating.

Bob "Good to get out of the theatre after two hours much as it presented enjoyment." So we take a walk-around break before heading back to the theatre for a lecture about the islands' formation.

LECTURE. Lecturer was a  park ranger. Lived 13 years on top of a volcano.

All volcanic islands come from the bottom of the sea.

Hawaii is one of the most remote places on earth. In the middle of the pacific plates.

Created in the middle of the sea.

Solid inner core--nickel and iron. (We are a very hot planet). Earth 7 billion years old. We're at the end of an ice age. Oceans keep rising because we're warming.

Liquid outer core--Rock is more liquid:moveable.

Molton mantle.

Earth's crust. Thin.

Under--growing magma. Above is lava. (Same stuff) Easiest for magma plume to break through under ocean floor when there is a hot spot.

Each hot spot has its own life span.

Usually there are 25 hot spots around the world.

Hawaii's hot spot opened the sea floor 80 million years ago. Big crack. Magma forces plume that spouts out.

Water around Hawaiian islands 3 miles deep.

Once breaks surface of the sea becomes an island made of 1-5 volcanos.

Center of earth 980 miles deep.

Continues to erupt. Each volcano has its own source of magma.

Doesn't keep getting bigger because plates keep moving. And carries the island away from the hotspot north.

Big Island is over the hotspot. The others have moved.

8 major Hawaiian islands. 4 quite small.

But the Big Island--Hawaii--is the newest. Oahu. 3 million yes old. Kawaii. 6 million years old.

Mauii. 1 million yrs old.

Island chain that stretches up to the Aleutian islands subduct. (Goes underneath and pushes the mountains up along the continents.)

There are 136 Hawaiian islands in the Hawaiian chain. All the way up to midway1200 miles from Hawaii.

All are considered Hawaiian except Midway.

3 miles of water pressure pulling against lava trying to come out. Compacted hard. Round balls that break open as lava comes out.

Takes 500k years to break water.

1st hits air, born into a new environment. Bursts thunderously. Grows faster now. The lava flows downhill. Rivers of lava flow 35 mph. If doesn't reach sea, island gets taller. If goes into ocean the lava island gets bigger.

Boils ocean. (Fish swim away.)

1st 40 million years (of Hawaii's 80) nothing grows. No nutrients. No necessary nitrogen.

But sea creatures came when no longer above a hot spot. Laid eggs on the beaches. And will always return to where born. Then birds. (Flying 2400 miles with air flows or storms.) Carried seeds on their bodies. First ferns. Dropped their nitrogen filled leaves.

Once on an island could move from island to island. One seed survived every 50k years.

More underwater than above like pyramid.

A new island is being made. Will take 50-100k years to break water. Most of the islands are connected underwater.

Sorry to leave the lecture early but lunch calls.

Bob orders a bottle of Puerto Viejo Cab wine which we remember from our previous trip as good and at the top of our wine card $29 ceiling.

R Mexican albondigas soup which is quite good (their soups rarely miss) and ordered for the irresistable tiny meatballs,  and both of us the Chefs salad and for dessert Blueberry Roulade with mascarpone cream. Says Bob "Remarkable. Absolutely remarkable." R agrees. "It's heavenly" B. "And that's a blessing and a curse."

Reuel wanders upstairs to see an execrable movie ("Under the Stars"), "The Avengers", with Robert Downey Jr. and a host of others as comic book Heroes. Mainly I'm up there for the sun. Back to find Bob napping. We think the rocking of the ship is making us tired. So we have martinis and dress more or less formally for dinner.

Of Share a new specialty restaurant where we have reservations tonight thanks to Bob's interest in it. Bob tells me that the chef, Curtis Stone, is a famous chef on Food Network TV who has just opened a tiny restaurant in LA. It's kind of a coup for Princess he believes.

It's such a Calufornia restaurant. Of course. Stone's a Californian. A lot of shaking going on and we rock from the waves and the glasses shake and the liquids spill over. This used to be Sabatinis. Cute waiter. Charcuterie platter. For appetizers we Share (the idea) Cavatelli (Beets-castle mango)

'So they have all the elegant ethnics [servers] up here. Oh god there's a communal table. I think this is going to be a hard sell because they charge so much." This from Bob.

Our cute and terribly charming Philipino server, Joel, actually says okey dokey when we give our order. A certain zany informality is the order of the day apparently even though on this formal night people are in their formals

Of the charcuterie. Love the pate, and "it's actually better than a club sandwich in the room." (High bar.)

Portions not huge which is fine. It's all special occasion California gourmet--not what's served in the main dining room which is excellent in its own right.

Only seats 50, 25 more than Stone's very exclusive restaurant. "Everything's wonderful," says Bob.

In response to the turbulent seas Joel says "I still have two green apples already." Ok doesn't matter what the hell that means.

Amazing that for the 10 pm show it's almost a full house. I note that all those dowdy and frankly disgusting looking tourists in the holding pen apres boarding have transformed into mostly elegant creatures of the night. What the hell.

As to the show, Stardust Memories, it's like the others we're destined to see, that we've seen before and before. But this old friend, the songs reminiscent of a show we produced at our Palm Springs resort seems more expertly done this time and offers some eye candy.

TUESDAY JANUARY 12. AT SEA.

I thought I'd order oatmeal for breakfast (essentially that's the magnitude of decision-making onboard) but since Bob insists on calling it porridge it's a less entertaining idea. How bad could eggs florentine be? B. Begins with orange segments and then a ham and cheese omelette. ("Kind of leaden. I remember it as being lighter") R. Eggs florentine. (Not my favorite dish but nicely presented.) but Bob does like the freshly cooked hash browns this morning. A clearly gay server comes by with a tray of pastries. "Anything sweeet? Or are you sweeet enough?"

"Sweet enough," I reply. "And so are you." Bob notes that they've cranked up the air conditioning. "They've got to preserve the old passengers. It's called live cryonics," I reply. Looks like the kitchen is slow this morning. Can't blame the servers who are satisfyingly apologetic.

Marlon is still readying our cabin so we go up to the spa to look over the gym where all the treadmills are occupied. However I learn that the spa has a separate calendar from the Platter (daily calendar) and that the stretch and abs classes still are ongoing at 7 am. I'll be there even with only one good arm!

After Zumba. LECTURE. KAUI. Smallest island.  Was a plantation island way to the north. Storms start in south. As come north gain force from equator winds. Hurricanes like the warm air of Kawaii. Aniki in 1992 was devestating. Flattened everything. Took a year to get going. Nuclear submarine ran the island for the year. Only Cocoa Palms still needs to be rebuilt.

Thousands of chickens roam everywhere. Can't kill a chicken because don't know if it's native or domestic. Start crowing at 3 in AM. She recommends the helicopter ride. (Maybe next time.)

     We'll dock at Nawilliwili. Wailua River only River in Hawaii. Wailua Falls was the setting for Fantasy Island. 80' tall. Shrimp Falls.

Most of South Pacific filmed in Kauwaii. Has 80 white sand beaches.

All beaches in Hawaii are public. "Tubing the ditch" activity is fun. (Not to Bob's point of view so  . . . next time.) Waimea Canyon.

LECTURE--DNA IN CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS AND PROSECUTIONS 1st case. O J Simpson. Not as accepted then.

2nd case--Enis Cosby. Killer hid gun in cap. From hairs prosecution convicted the killer.

Extortion letter. Identified extortionist from DNA on stamp.

Cold case unit. Identifies cases from 20 or 30 years ago. Has 100% conviction rate.

Everyone has unique DNA. It's our genetic fingerprint.

Sources. See photo.

Look for cigarette butts, food. From gloves suspects wear can find DNA from the sweat inside.

From rape victim scratches DNA underneath fingernails id's an assailant.

Most important id-ing a serial killer.

Prosecutors love DNA evidence.

Id repeat offenders. Ensure accurate prosecution. Exonerate the innocent

As of 2009 anyone arrested gives DNA sample--cheek swab Supreme Court allowed it.

The Grim Sleeper Murders

7 murders 1985-88

No additional murders until 2002 so 12 victims Name because of hiatus DNA not in any database. Share common characteristics--familial But familial search not allowed until Jerry Brown said yes. No hit

2008 son arrested with same DNA. His father primary suspect. Find pizza crust. Lonnie David Franklin Arrested 5 years ago. Continuances are now over. Id'd by victim. Found 180 photos of potential murderees. 8 id'd by public.

1986 murder. Case unsolved 23 years. Stephanie Lazarus. Suspect worked for LAPD as detective solving art theft crimes. Arrested in 2009. Murder victem was married by suspect's jilting lover. Bite mark on murdered's arm. A Detective took swab. Found Coke can which matched suspect. Convicted.

ISN'T THIS THE POINT?

Skip the killer whale lecture to find Bob in the cabin. I join him on our balcony where we enjoy the sun, the horizon and the sound of waves splashing against the ship. After a while of too much pleasure I say we'll skip lunch today and go straight to dinner. Bob replies that's the funniest thing he's heard and we prepare for our descent into the culinary blandishments of the D'Avinci dining room . . .

 .  

where we have chicken tortilla soup.

R. Tuna melt. (Could be more melted.) Fruit sundae cup. B. Brunswick Chicken stew. Bob ever the colonialist explains that it was a great favorite in colonial Williamsburg, Va but served with rabbit not chicken. (He likes it especially since there's no rabbit.) Walnut ice cream. Delicious

Bob reads, watches tv goes out for cheese. Reuel goes to the gym for a run at the elyptical and the treadmill, then takes steam and sauna to get back just in time to make martinis for the State of the Union address.

Wonder if the president will say The State of the Union is Strange. It is. Trump in the Republican ascendancy? Ted Cruz next in line? Bernie Sanders, an avowed socialist, poised to give Hillary a close run in Ohio and New Hampshire?

MASTERING HIS HULA LESSON

Frankly, I would have been content to remain in our cabin with a room service meal and fall into gentle sleep. But Bob insists the steward needs to turn down our sheets so we must go out. The evening's entertainment we've seen before and dislike. So we wait 20 minutes to get into Michaelangelo's. Bob says as we watch the parade of aged, overweight and disabled pass by that this is the most depressing ship he's been on. I must agree.

R. Tom Kah Gai. Thai chicken soup. And the Curtis Stone Grilled Flank Steak. B. Also the Thai soup and the Curtis Stone Roasted Beets and Quinoa Salad with Grilled Chicken Breast. We are not enamored of our dishes. Bob: I've made this meal. Quinois salad? I make this stuff at home." My steak is pedestrian. I think Stone does his brand a disservice by being on the main menu with a less satisfactory product than at his specialty restaurant.  We need dessert.  White Chocolate Mocha Torte.

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 13. AT SEA.

REUEL'S FAVORITE BREAKFAST

Up at 6:45 so rush to get to stretch class--a genuine stretch for me with my torn rotator cuff arm. Abs class is actually easier. Back at 8 so we can descend to breakfast. R's favorite is on the menu today, minute steak and eggs. Bob scrambled eggs and sausage.

LECTURE: FIRE ON THE MOUTAIN.

Faff lives on top of a "user friendly" volcano. Shield volcanos ooze and spew. Earthquakes weeks/months in advance so have warning.

Thinks we'll see whales in Hilo.

She lives 4000 ft up in THE Volcano. 120" of rain a year (at night). Has small house with A lovely garden.

People use catchment tanks for their water. Hers is 10,000 gallons.

Sees plume is the eruption started in 2008, ongoing. She was a park ranger there.

Rain forest on top of volcano.

Lava flow leaves "lava trees". Petroglyphs. This was area of longevity. Put child's umbilical cord in petroglyphs. If remained overnight child would have long life.

Steam vents.

We sun on our balcony because it's absolutely lovely out and I warn Bob to apply sunscreen.

KNEE-TANNING SESSION

Lunch.

FOR THE CLIENTALE

Diseno old vine Malbec 2013 is lovely. I seem to recall we've ordered it on other cruises.

Bob. Mozzarella sticks. (Wonderful in its dipping sauce). Beef roulade.

R. Going Jewish: Chicken broth with matzah balls. (Though no self respecting Jewish mother would fashion balls that small, it's delicious). Grilled Potato latkes. We try one another's dishes and pronounce them quite good.

And for dessert both have the macadamia ice cream (Bob's first time) in honor of our destination. Marvelous.

Mr. Sexy Legs Competition. Last year one of our LGBT number won. Not this year. People next to me tell me that most of them contestants have furniture disease. . . . "Where their chests fall into their drawers." The event is hysterical. This time the female judges come across as randy. One says after hugging a contestant. "This is more action than I've had all this cruise." The guy who wins does a flip into the sauna and deserves his accolade. The Brit assistant cruise manager keeps it lively and funny.

Bob deprived of exercise heads to the gym for treadmill axtion and I follow into the sauna (the steam room being worked on.)

Time for the LGBT meet. Bob afterwards in the Skywalkers says this was the worst evening in history. I do argue with his hyperbolic judgement of our group gathering. Mostly he can't hear them. They are all Palm Springs residents and seem to know one another. "And they're all so fat. They look like fat old straight men," he rejoins. I tried to introduce topics during our time there, find commonalities. So I'm less oppositional. I talk about the Robert Kennedy lecture, travels in Greece during the 1964-5 revolution. etc. I say that this is a way to connect with our own in a ship of straight people even if it's an hour or a half hour. Bob did make it clear that they, as Rancho Miragians, Desert Hot Springians and the like are not innately Palm Springs as we are.

      Later in the Skywalkers lounge he says "I'm a bad person. I'm a snob." I object. "No you are a compassionate empathetic person. You just did not find much in common with them."

        

As we sit here in the sparse lounge of Skywalkers, great front seat, enjoying our mojitos (wonderful) and appetizers we hear the conversation from two men behind us, one of whom is the entertainer who confessed to the audience about his alcoholism which he conquered. The two men are encouraging one another and talking of overcoming alcoholism. It's a kind of AA meeting. Their discussion is very intimate and touching.

SHOW: COLORS OF THE WORLD.

Princess' best so far and one we've seen before, I
think on the Royal. Great special effects with mutable backdrops of some iconic world images as singers and dancers represent these different cultures in song and dance. Brilliant is a word I don't use lightly; we had to stand because the theatre even a half hour before is completely full. Bob thinks it's full because everybody's so old they have nothing else to do.

TV. JANE THE VIRGIN. First episode of the series is as good as they say it is. Jane, very much in the tradition of America whatshername from Ugly Betty, is a young vulnerable Hispanic woman who pledged to be a virgin but is accidentally impregnated and apparently wants to keep her Baby despite . . .

We drink more of the cab we brought with us and Ah here is our room service meal to accompany it, a club sandwich and a Croque Monsieur.

THURSDAY JANUARY 14. HILO. Stretch and abs. I get to partner with Joe from Boston in the abs portion and get to explain my torn rotator cuff (which I'm too fond of doing) as excuse not to provide much resistance. Then in room "breaky" with the "mcmuffin" and a chocolate brioche.

Unbelievably an Amish couple is seated in front of us as we wait to be called for our tour up to Volcano National park 10-2 pm. "It's a gift to be simple and remember to tip your steward." (Updated Amish song.)

While we wait we watch videos of our ship, the captains party with the passengers filling glasses of champagne. It's either champagne or urine I opine.

Long line to get on our bus but we get front seats, good for the long ride ahead.

John guide. Lava event blocking the road. 90% of freight worldwide goes containers. Hawaii is the Largest of 132 islands of the state. More than twice as big as all the 7 major islands. 7 times bigger than Oauhu but 1/6 as many people. 225 miles to drive around the island, takes 6 hours. Pass ice pond. Pass banyon trees planted by Nixon, Babe Ruth, and Amelia Earhart.

Some damage from Tsunamis, "harbor wave" in Japanese, so now must build above ground.

Shaka--3 finger salute is friendly. "All the icons of American society. McDolds, Pizza Hut, we do have culture in Hawaii." Rice a major staple. Poke--marinated raw fish. Tajo-octopus. Pupu--appetizer or hors deuvres. Mona dry side. All of the islands have leeward and trade wind sides. These breezes keep the temperature moderate. Up mountains cooler--3 degrees every thousand feet. The two mountains Monalea and Monaloa get snow.

We're going thru sugar cane towns. By 1870 years sugar cane dominant. By 1996 last mill closed. Kona economy doing better than Hilo because of tourism. Cane sugar couldn't compete in world market. Kona coffee hand picked. Expensive.

     Eruption at pulu has lasted 33 years. Megma comes out of the side of the mountain.

Thomas Jagger. Arrived in 1910 to study volcanos. Still can't predict eruptions. Used to think crack in the ocean from Asia and that made islands. In 1968 plate tectonics presented. Now accepted. The crust we live in is thin. Big crack in Atlantic Ocean. Called Atlantic drift. Mountains build up when plates crash against each other. We're Pacific plate. The ring of fire. We're over a hotspot now. (As is Canary Islands.) Kawaii is oldest. Oahu 3-4 mill years old. This island 60,000 years old. Parts of this island still developing.

We see natural steam vents. We see a nene bird.

We stop at the edge of the main crater and the Jagger museum. I hear one tourist saying, " you seen one volcanic eruption you've seen them all." Don't ever let us be that jaded. We think maybe we'll bring a disaster. As we have to other places we've traveled. The Olin/grinchuk disaster fund.

    Pele is the fire goddess.

"Easy to remember the name of the ah ah lava. Just walk on it barefoot."

Leaving the lava tube (500 years old) we walk along a path framed by haapu fern trees and hear the sounds of birds, their diverse whistles.

PELE--SHE'S MOODY

We stop at lava rock formations.

Northwest of island looks like the moon.

House in Kona twice as much as Hilo.

Hawaii Five O references Hawaii as the 50th state.

Talks extensively of his life here. His new $6000 catchment tank, his house he bought for $130,000, the fruit he picks, flowers  he buys at the farmers market.

Now we're at the macadamia nut factory. Buy lots of chocolate covered Mac nuts. The self guided tour offers wonderful smells.

EXPLORER IN CREEPY LAVA TUBE

John who is a great tour guide (and bus driver) with a great sense of humor receives a 10 year tenure pin from his manager at tour end.

It's 3:30, rather late for lunch, and there's no tea time on land days so we have some pear from our fruit bowl (for which thank god--though that same god knows there's plenty to eat aboard if we must.) Rather we'll count the moments to 5 and get our "free" hors deuvres at preferred Skywalkers where we are early enough to cadge our great seats and order their drink of the day, Brezzo Marina, which we think has a gin base and those appetizers particularly sought after on this long tour day.

In room. Bob Caesar salad with chicken. "I loved it."  R. Lasagna . Absolutely works. Still have some cab to accompany our simple meal. Early sleep.

FRIDAY JANUARY 15.

In the grand tradition of bringing tragedy or upheaval wherever we travel, as we approach Oahu Honolulu, two marine helicopters are downed on the north shore here and it looks like 12 are missing.

I cause a commotion at stretch class when I tell a woman that she's on the mat I reserved--hey property rights. Well it's all the buzz with the ladies.

At least we don't wait in Princess Theatre before the tour but proceed to the harbor to mount our bus. Eric. Tour guide. (Sounds a little gay.) Ala Moana road (Ocean Road)

A lot of homeless here. Imported by mainland communities and locally created (cost of housing). Waikiki means bubbling water.

Length of Wailiki 2 1/2 miles long. I Diamond Head is a real crater. Parallel markets Japanese and American.

60-70 years ago low key bungalows no shopping malls and the Royal Hawiian and the Moana hotels.

Surfing not famous until Duke Honomoku did his exhibitions, particularly in Australia.

Can hike Diamond head--3/4 mile trail, created out of beds of volcanic ash, called tuff.  Formed explosively in about a month. DH was an army fortress. Controlled artillery fire from summit. P

We join Eric out on the grassy crater. These craters are young rejuvenated formations. Grew sweet potatoes here. How Polynesians got South American potatoes? Sailors found calcium crystals on crater thought they were diamonds--hence Diamond Head.

Not much to see here and no snow globes to be found. Kali's bird flies north to Alaska 3000 miles. Never rests. Shuts off half of its brain to sleep while flying.

Many trees that grow here are relatives of mesquite tree. Diamond Head relatively arid.

All the mountains are remnant of a single volcano formed 2M years ago (12k ft now 3k ft unlike single event Diamond Head.

Into Kahala, the Beverley Hills of Oahu. Henshiro Kawahawa bought many properties and destroyed them.  Spray painted them invited homeless in. Sold at a loss for 120 million 2 years ago.

Once much larger island.

Hot spot underneath big island formed all the islands. Does not move. Crust moves. That's why H islands are a chain in a straight line. So 2m years ago when erupted over hot spot. Why After all this time a rejuvenated phase?

Coco crater taller than DH. Smaller crater Hana (bay) Uma (means curved bay) it's beautiful. We see where the coral (darker blue) is. Fish feed on the algae on it. Bob: "Hollywood's idea of Hawaii." Actually Elvis Presley's Blue Hawaii filmed here brought his girlfriend down to beach.

Heading to From Here To Eternity Beach. Also beautiful.

We see spout of whale. Whales here 3 months. Surviving through all there fat stores. Males come to mate. They Sing songs. Tale up to surface. All sing same song. Then changes also together. Calves will come back for another season. These whales As much as 60 feet long. Go back 3-6 miles an hour. Halona (lookout) lookout. Behind us Koko crater.

Hydro magmatic eruption--explodes. Magma coming up from underground.

We see Pele's chair.

Homestead Commission Act.

Chiefs sold land to foreigners. Common Hawaiians found land they were living on belonged to foreigners who wanted them to work the land. Originally came from Marquesis islands 1000 years ago. We're isolated and so vulnerable to diseases foreigners brought here. 1/2 million pop when Cook came over. By 1880 (100 years later) pop is only 40k. Became Us territory in 1890's but officially in 1920's. Ceded land to commoners but corrupt. Hard to distribute land. Big waiting list. Those who got land $1 for 99 years. Eric says this is all controversial so he has to be careful (but I'm glad he's not that careful).

Polynesians continued past islands populated by Melanesians. Settled first in Tpnga and Samoa. Remained 2000 years. Developed canoes to go over large parts of water.

We stop at site of sacrifice and ceremony. Noni trees used as antioxidant healers. Native H originated off coast of Southeast Asia. Used animals and plants from there. Canoe plants were brought onboard. One place in Polynesia not tropical was New Zealand. Poly triangle 7m square miles where they settled. Reached far stretches later in their history. Used double hulled sailing canoes. Claw like sails. Had pigs and chickens aboard.

Hayow. (Sp.) Where we are: rocks brought in. Chain of people miles long. Hawaiin gods are like catholic saints. Chiefs are descendants of these godlike creatures who intercede in human affairs. Place of ritual. There would have been shacks where kahuna (priests) stayed.

If this was converted into war temple then human sacrifices and slavery.

Hawaiians diverted streams. Used kakui nut to tattoo. Warrior class tattooed to show they can endure pain. Oil for lamps. Also for skin.

Easter island Polynesians did go east to Chile where got sweet potatoes.

No chickens until Columbus discovered America.

We drive across the mountains to get back. I pick up a flower from the African flame tree.

We miss one of the most beautiful views at Pali Lookput because of cloud cover but we do see cats and chickens and roosters in little groups. I am instructed to send a photo to our naturalist friend Claire. We don't see a Jackson chameleon with its horns and funny eyes hiding in the bamboo. Oh well.

One of the best guides ever. The guy's so knowledgeable.

Late lunch (these tours always add on time, 45 minutes, an hour). Manage to fill up a big plate. The pineapple unsurprisingly is delicious.

Where to go? We head toward the shopping center only to discover it's closed and under renovation. So back to the pier for a taxi to the Ala Moana shopping center and hotel. But that's not where we want to go. It's the oldest hotel, the Moana Surfrider that takes us through heavy traffic and into heavy expense. $27!

Bob is delighted that the bell captain who is entreated to get us a cab asks "where have you been?" Looking us over. "Looks like you've been everywhere." We have been to the two oldest hotels, the Moana Surfrider and then to "sloch" shops for a campy Hawaii snow globe. (Sporting a pineapple) then to the Royal Hawaiian (where I stayed years ago traveling for ITT). Having surveyed their lobbies and beach bars we decide that back to the ship ($27 again but faster route) is a best solution for cocktails upstairs in Skywalkers. Tonight's selection is port so we have grey goose martinis thank you very much.

After booking our last tour--a walking tour of Lahaina in Mauii--we wait in the theatre for the "cultural" show to begin.  A couple of Chardonnays helps. Nowhere near as full as we experienced from previous shows but fairly painless though we wonder how much the piped in sixties oldies will clash with the Hawaiian melodies of the show. California Dreamin' no less. Bob says "They'll have the audience weeping."

Great show. Apparently a family affair, the father, two sons and the daughter who seems to run the show which consists of young girls who are of their hula dance academy and older women as well interpreting classic Hawaiian dances with grace.

Dinner. Dining room sparse at 8 pm. R. Chilled celery and apple cream soup. Prime rib. B. Salad. Also prime rib. (We are mightily pleased.) the servers are wearing Hawaiian shirts but mine is more egregiously Hawaiian--so there. Battery down so can't photo the pretty main course prime rib with its accoutrements of encrusted potato and tomato.

Back up in time for MR. HOLMES a movie we intended to see but never got around to. Slow and faintly depressing.

SATURDAY JANUARY 16.

"It's been a week" Bob announces as we sit in the DaVinci dining room awaiting breakfast. Actually we waited for the dining room to open at 7 since our tour of Waimaia Canyon lines up at 8.

We are seated next to a feisty group of oldsters. Nothing like the "elderly personality" when it's in high gear. I have a view of the sea, perk for the early.

I've learned to order "a large pot of camomile tea" because the little pot doesn't suffice. See the things you learn at the great continuing cruise course of learning. Venturesome, I order papaya which when Bob asks me what it's like I can only reply it's like a melon only more exotic.

The endless ocean is now revealing an isthmus of land. Ah there's a lighthouse.

Bob's New England blueberry pancakes are flavorful. My Alaskan scramble with salmon doesn't have enough salmon. Must be because it's  Alaskan not a mother's Jewish version I guess.

As we move into port the scenery is getting more lovely, a harbinger of sights to see in this the garden isle.

Nawilliwili Hawaii. Love that name. (Some Polynesian linguist had a sense of humor.) The tour description says the trip will be extensive so I bring along some reading matter.

The Tour To Waimea. Good we get a map. Our guide looks like a tough old broad. Carol. Born 1952 and raised on this island. Brought up like a boy.

Former trucker rode a semi and rodeo rider. "I'm just a plain Jane."

     Pass sugar cane factory. This is the Last year for HAWAAIN SUGAR CO. on Maui. Pass Bialiali 5k high mountain.

Ancestors travelled 3k miles to get here. 11 miles without road. Napoli coast. Pop 59k. Mostly south side. Lihue. Oldest island.

Until 1996

Town of Kalaheo segregated. Forbidden island. 300 pp. same as 1859 when bought by Sinclairs.

She's hysterical. Pass mountain in shape of Queen Victoria. "Her tootsies are by your ship. You went up her skirt."

Stop at Hanapepi valley. Pretty canyon.0"

"If you had coffee this morning. It sucks!"

Harvest coffee 9 out of 12 months. Decaffeinated is green beans.

   Now in town of Eliele. Electric generating plant. Heading to Hanapepe. Art town. Movies made here. Buildings abandoned after hurricane of 1992. "Life is too short not to be humorous." This side it hardly rains.

"We're going to stop here so you don't have to pee behind the bus. I'm straightforward. Some pp make an ugly face when they get up. I'm happy to get up."  It's the slochiest store on earth but offers clean barhrooms. I buy a magnet for our cabin door.

Fields all belong to the Robinsons. Keith and Bruce. Heirs of the Sinclairs. Corn grown not for consumption.

1774 Capt. Cook. Didn't know ther were people. She thinks he was arrogant. Stole.

1815 people from Russia came. Became friends. But kicked off because tried to overpower the people.

1820's--missionaries came from England. Locked up if spoke native languages. Hawaiian and Samoans same language--different pronunciation. Queen Kalami taken to Washington died of a broken heart because of the fate of her people.

Went to college in California. Told her kids they'll go to a convalescent home before she will.

We're going up to 3400' where Grand Canyon of the Pacific stands.

Red salt contains iron. Noni is a juice. Gives you more pep to your step.

18 mile road we're on

3 parks. Kokeei, Waimea and . . .

Cabins up here leased by state.

Bob remembers that we were here 27 years ago (for his 60th birthday) but that the weather was bad that day. Today it's perfect and we can see the many colors of the soil, the striations of this mini

"GRAND CANYON" OF THE ISLANDS

grand canyon formed from a volcano (unlike its northern counterpart).

Bob notes how the vegetation changes as we descend the mountain. We remember South American mountains where the trees changed from evergreen to deciduous as we ascended and then became sparse.

Spam abbreviation for "soldiers provision army meal". Mainstay on the islands. Many ways to cook. Many different flavors.

We're on level land so Carol releases her breaks.

Turns out she's very conservative. Didn't want super ferries between Oahu and Kawaii because the homeless would come over and despoil her island and they should get jobs the way she did. Not shy about expressing her opinions. I'll give her that.

In Hawaii terrain resembles space so astronauts come to train. Mona loa and Mona Kaia tallest mountains on islands. Even snow there.

Got land dependent on degree of nativeness. Less and less pure over time.

Heading for south side of the island.

Pass coffee trees where once was sugar cane. Coffee has just been harvested (Aug-Jan).

South shore very touristic. Timeshares, hotels. Many golf courses.

BLOW HOLE

Then we see the blow hole in a gorgeous setting. The towns we passed through were plantation camps, Portuguese, Chinese camps etc.

We're driving thru Jurassic Park tunnels, eucalyptus trees planted in 1816. We pass the mountain shaped like Queen Victoria lying down. She was friends with Queen Emma.

Back to invade the famed cruise ship buffet. A simple glass of wine and a large plate of all foodstuffs known to man. I make sure to take a large helping of something labeled "millionaires rice".

Then we sort of lie around in our cabin. Not sure it's allowed.

We need to bestir ourselves, do something ambitious, even daring, not give in to the desultory life so we . . . Take tea. Dancing attention from handsome young men from all corners of the world, tea poured from silver pots, fruit cakes, little pastries, scones with clotted cream and jam. To die! And perhaps so considering the clogged arteries. But a lovely "civilized" respite from the "ordinary" cruise rituals.

Around 5 those of us who have balconies gather on them to see the ship off and see the utterly beautiful scenery unfold as we leave the comfort of the harbor guided by a tug which seems to be nudging its giant partner along. We can hear the celebrating sounds of the band atop the vessel and there's the lighthouse that ushered us in earlier today now at the edge of the isthmus a salutatory talisman. Bob reminds me as I read this that while in the toilet I missed a solitary sea turtle surfacing briefly. Oh well. There is no perfection only the search for it,

After watching almost all of a bad movie (something about Fat Amy and all girl acapella competitions) which we are, lets face it, enjoying, we are teleported to the theatre a half hour early to find there are No Seats! These people camp out in the theatre  hours before it would seem with their video games and pop paperback novels in anticipation of doubtless mediocre entertainment .'we take our, now, usual places against the wall stage right, in defiant standing room posture--great sight lines. So there. We've better things to do than sit--like watch bad movies in our cabin in our bathrobes.

Turns out The Modern Gentlemen, a singing quartet are fabulous, among the very best acts we've ever seen on cruises.

In the dining room close to 9pm we sit next to a couple just as the birthday cake and serenade are being delivered and perforce join in the celebrations. Our fave Desano cab. R. Game and wild mushroom with port wine glaze Pate (excellent), greens and surf and turf. (Fine. Always a treat.) B. Prickly pear and pineapple (enticed because it's an Hawaiian delicacy). Actually it's excellent with a kick--chili. Who'd a thunk. Greens and Chicken Pallard which he finds flavorful. Likes the French fries this time too.

Raymond and partner appear to be seated with some straight people and having a good time. He comes by to say he can't wait for Zumba.

We pretty much close the restaurant, always a satisfying thing to do

SUNDAY JANUARY 17.

In room breakfast (McMuffin!) allows us plenty of time to hear about the beginning of MLK weekend and the Iran hostage release and to get ready for a walk-around tour of Lahaina Maui where we've just landed.

Tender is the morning. Not much muss or fuss. The tender engorges us as soon as we pass by the passenger card counters but stops dead between the ship and Lahaina for at least 10 minutes for some unknown reason before continuing to its destination.

We see a picture of what Lahaina used to look like mid 19th century. Bob says the place reminds him of Key West with aging beach bums cycling by.

Wainani is our guide today Kanu= beautiful. Wai is water.

First pp see a Hawaiian hawk 200 years before the Common Era (AD). Mauii is one of first places they stopped. Wet region. 2nd wettest spot in world. They lived Here 200-300 years without interruption.

Peaceful. 2nd group brings caste system. Kapu is its system of laws. Chief sole ruler. One constant Rule: Separation of powers between men and women. Otherwise  Changed with each ruler. Traded with one another. People gave 2/3 of what they produced to the high chief who dispersed to his retainers and then gave the balance back to the people who this had an incentive to be productive. During down time the chief would choose his soldiers.

Kameamea 1. Chants cited signs. An oral history. Born at the time of Hadley's comet. Chiefs never raised their own child rather gave the child to Someone who would not spoil him. Tutored under a fierce chief--learns war tactics. Captain Cook arrives. The people Thought he fulfilled prophesi of Lono arriving. He runs into storm so people think he's losing his powers. Take his skiff. Skirmish. Cook's men leave him to die. Natives Learned to capture firearms from captives. K fights Chiefs and wins. Won Maui including Molokai, Lanai, and Oahu. All the means for him to control resources, especially Hana part of Maui.

See largest banyan tree in islands.

Shade for 19th c band concerts. Taught to play music and sing.

Australians built palace for K which melted because no clay for bricks.

Rock which looked like lizard. Where gods gave birth. (She stands at edge). She chants.

2nd wave intermarriage, Lahaina where all Chiefs come from. Mojo Ula = sacred islands. Lahaina means merciless sun.

Importance of Taro (plant) in their culture. Meant spirit still lives. Serving class today traces back to one or another first family mother. Genealogy very important. Could lose  or raise your status. K 2 cultivated taro. Worked with commoners. Taught son to not be too maca maca (high and mighty).

1st wave brought taro. 2nd breadfruit.  K died . (Won Maui 1795). His wives instrumental in making changes. K 2 born 1798. Chief's job like pope. Intermediary between gods and the people.

Missionaries arrived 1820. John Young said don't destroy them. (K allowed Vancouver to send missionaries.) missionaries learned Hawaiian language in first 2 years. Chief Wife taught her progeny to learn reading and writing. Younger sister kept away from other Chiefs. Then Allows her to go out on ships. She learned secularism and hated missionaries. Then began to listen so could control people with 10 commandments. Her children raised in Christianity.

Under protection of England. Chiefs wife (kaahumani) is ruler. Made everyone go to church. She built fort when who captain wanted women rebelled and fired on her.

In 1835 the transition sandwich islands into Hawaiian islands occurs.

We stop for some pineapple. Delicious.

"Here we are in colonial Williamsburg" says Bob.

Missionaries had best intent at first. But stayed to become plantation owners. Their children greedy. Hawaiian population dwindled from diseases brought in. From 1 million to 70,000. Not enough worked for plantation. Owners immigrated other groups, eg, Chinese. Married Hawaiian women. Therefore there are More Hawaiians with a H-Chinese mixture today.

Tried to restrict number of Chinese so then Japanese, Portuguese and then Phillipinos came. 1898 overthrow of Hawaiian King.

We sit on a wall outside the old fort walls. Remade into prison. (Now a museum).

We see a tiki of the god Loni (that the natives at first thought was Capt Cook)

We stop at the  resting place of kapuolani.

We stop where land fill. Where had been written the Hawaiian magma carts and the 1st constitution. 1893 1st missionary children wanted to annex H kingdom to America. 1844 America had signed treaty with H for trade as had France, England and Spain recognizing H as sovereign.

1894 arrested Queen Leouokeloni. Pres Cleveland investigated. She agreed to return of her executive power. But Congress wanted Pearl Harbor. McKinley said annex Hawaii.

Hawaiiankingdom.org. Desecrated this historic place. Since 1995 friends trying to restore this, bring back the water. Bird led army corps of engineers to see this was a wetland.

Abuts oldest Christian cemetery on island.

We're supposed to shop. So we do. Find the outlet stores and find nothing but some discount underwear--always desire able.

Sipping Mai Taos at an Oceanside table at Kimo's. Life's good. The last time we were in a Kimo's was 27 years ago for Bob's 50th birthday a gift from Beth and her then husband Bart. We'd lost the certificate but they honored it anyway--so mahalo to Kimo's and we're loving our visit to this branch as the waves lap beneath us. The traditional cheeseburger with Rodney Strong cab. Were looking out at the island of Lanai , sailboats, a bizarre yellow submarine and across the lovely star shining blue waters we see our ship in the distance; it seems to be repositioning itself against the horizon.

    Bob says we can curl up and sleep. But not here. I say why not. I saw a sign on Kawaii, don't feed feral cats and chickens but nothing about napping here.

It will take about 40 minutes all told to get back to the ship but my nascent battery revives and there are a few pics to be taken from the "sun deck" of the lifeboat/tender.

In time at 3:10 to hear commentary about the democratic debate which we hope we'll be able to see at 4. Not sure. Bob wakes me from my nap but Oops looks like MSNBC isn't carrying the debate. Oh well.

We hear a commotion and it's the other balcony dwellers pointing out the whales forward of us leaping. We catch a few. Can go home with that in our pockets.

In lieu of the debate we watch a bio of Donald Trump. Might as well know a bit about our next president/fuhrer.

Strangely we get to see the debate 2 hours later. This means we have a real decision as to how we'll spend the evening since Reuel's eyelids in particular are heavy. See the comedian who probably talks about his seats on an airplane, how women are different than he is and, probably being unfair, how queers are funny and then wend our way downstairs to the dining room to have great quantities of food graciously placed in front of us.

So we order in. Mushroom soup--good. Turkey sandwich, roast beef sandwich (not as good as the turkey) and a bottle of wine. And we get to listen to the commentary on the debate: "All focus on Bernie Sanders." "She's a good counter puncher. She's evolutionary. He's revolutionary."

Of our meal as we watch tv. Bob. "This is great fun. It's like being home."

Marlon, or steward, comes in. We confront him on the American election about which he has no idea. We tell him Trump is a fool; he says he's not like George Bush who was an airline pilot. O-Kay.

MONDAY JANUARY 18.

We're getting our sea legs in order. 5 days at sea the instructor reminds us as we stretch and crunch before sunrise.

Proper breakfast. Beginning to wish the food wasn't so good. We'd be less tempted. R. Traditional English breakfast of beans, baked tomato, sunny side eggs. B. Scrambled and bacon.

We wander about and find our port photos with staff members dressed in costumes. Nah. R to Zumba, this time with Holly, Bob to the lecture on disasters.  She decided that it's better to present the litany of disasters after rather than before our visits. It turns out the much beloved Dynamo Angela is back for this session. Friendly Raymond ambles in. I ask where he lives (since his partner John is an Anglo). "Austria of course. I'm Austrian." I silently wonder what the arrangement is. He asks me how old I am. "74." "Well done" is his strange reply.

LECTURE: NATURAL DISASTERS OF THE PACIFIC All islands in the pacific are volcanically made. Where she lives 15-20 earthquakes a day. Along Pacific Ocean rim most earthquakes. When pacific plates butt up against land plates it causes movement. Other--movement of magma trying to get out.

At Hawaiian volcano observatory they Check all pacific earthquakes. Disseminated in seconds.

1868 7.9 earthquake on Mona loa. (Biggest mountain mass in world) Shaking for months ahead of time. Started an eruption of lava from 14000 ft top down to ocean.

1975 7.2. Inside national park.

1983 6.7. 3 miles of crater rim road fell into caldera (top of volcano) Kiloea started erupting.

Tectonic plate movement. Can rub against one another or desperate or most frequent plate subducts.

That's how we get enormous mountains. Japan 2011 9.0 magnitude

2009 Samoa 8.1 vulnerable because right under plate. Huge tsunami.

Earthquakes start fire. Water pipes break so can't put them out.

Most deadly are tsunamis. Move very fast. In Samoa roared in in 5 minutes. 20 feet high a mile and a half inland. No big buildings to stop it.

Everybody in Hawaii has a bag packed for tsunami evacuation. Warning system tested once a week.

80% of tsunamis happen in Pacific. Ship best place to be. Sailboats head out to sea when tsunami happens.

1946 Hilo. Tsunami from Alaska earthquake. 1960 also Hilo.

Hurricanes from South. Start across equator, pick up more heat, generates more lightning which generates more heat.

First to big island. Avoids its coolness. Hurricanes love Kawaii because it's low, moist and warm. 1992 flattened Kawaii. American Samoa.

Dissipating as go north where cooler.

Flooding occurs. During a tropical storm.

Vog. Volcanic outgassing.

Pele responsible for eruptions. She's creative (not vindictive and angry in our lecturers opinion)9 making new islands. People living below volcanos don't build expensive houses because know they will be destroyed eventually. Come back and rebuild houses.

You can't stop lava.

LECTURE: PATTY HEARST. VICTIM OR CRIMINAL.

Stockholm syndrome. Victim identified with captors. That was her defense. B. 1954. Great grandfather George. Senator. Only son William Randolf Hearst. 5 sons. Randolf Patty's father. He had 5 daus. Chairman. She was Romantically involved with her tutor, Steven Weed. TheY moved to Berkely Where he had a fellowship. She studied art.

Feb 4 1974. 2 men and woman knock down door. Placed in trunk. Patty 19.

Feb 7. Communique from Symbionese Liberation Army.

Active 1973-5. Symbol 7 headed cobra. Leader Cinque. (Donald Defreeze. After armistad leader.) Escapee from Soledad prison.

Symbionese medical term for 2 foreign groups live together for good of whole.

Assassinated Oakland school superintendent, Marcus Foster. Arrest 2 men. SLA wants a prisoner exchange. Then food exchange so Hearsts arrange distribution program which don't work.

FBI knew Patty was under surveillance by SLA.

She's placed in closet, physically and sexually abused, indoctrinated.

Given option to join or go. She agrees to join. Given name of Tania (lover of Che Guaveta) photographed with rifle.

9 members.

April 15 1974. Rob Hibernian Bank,

FBI puts out wanted poster for her.

May 16. Wm. and Emily Harris detained for shoplifting. Hearst fires 30 rounds into store.

Go to Anaheim. Police find parking ticket.

LA Police surround house in LA and Fire 9000 shots. Conflagration. 6 die. "Cinque Barbecue"

Harris' recruit Kathy Soliah who recruits others.

Now reconstituted SLA=8 members. April 1975. Rob bank. E. Harris shoots a woman.  Therefore all accused of murder.

April 21,1975. Put bombs under LA police cars. Bombs found.

SEPT 18, 1975. Arrested (except for 3 who go underground)

Patty faced 2 charges: Fed for Bank. State for shooting at building.

Defense-she was brainwashed.

Dr. Lifting key defense witness. Pointed out her extreme stress. F Lee Bailey defense lawyer.  Calls her to stand. She Takes 5th amendment. He's Drunk so poor closing argument.

Sentenced to 7 years. Out on bail.

Pleaded guilty to state trial. Gets probation. Cooperated with DA.

Her 7 year sentence commuted by Pres Carter. Marries her bodyguard 1979.

Granted full pardon by pres Clinton.

Steven Weed wrote a book about her.  Now a grandmother.

LUNCH. R. Manhattan clam chowder

Paella Valenciana. Spanish rice dish with squid, shrimp, mussels, pork, chorizo. "I don't love it but it has integrity." B. "What does that mean?" R. "I don't know."

B. Braised Beef stew bouginon with mashed potatoes. Likes it very much "has lovely little mushrooms too". Dessert. Chocolate walnut with vanilla sauce. (Very flavorful)

Now it's time to walk around since we're both feeling FAT. And at least I am. This takes is up to the tippy top of the ship where we see the tiny aft pool and enjoy the sun as we do in an enclave one deck below, comfortable cushioned chairs in a smoking section where there are no smokers so we smokeless sly soak up the sun.

Next up we part ways after hearing tv dissections of yesterday's debate, Bob to the treadmill, Reuel to the steam and sauna.

Here we sit awaiting an interview with the ship's captain in the Princess Theatre, enticed because he's an Englishman and we're, unlike early episodes with captions, likely to understand him and early because we seriously erroneously think it will be a sold out crowd. Stragglers all.

THE INTERVIEW. With the Captain. Personable guy. He's from Edinborough . Came to sea at 17. 1st year scrub decks. Then watch decks. 3 years as cadet. Record book signed. Oral exam. Then 2nd officer rank. Exams. College. Then Masters ticket. Takes 10 years. On this ship 5 people with captain's tickets. Only way is to wait until they retire or push Capt down the stairs. He always lets staff captain go first down the stairs. Had only 1 day notice to be captain on Star Princess.

Local pilots very important. He'll do docking/undocking. The pilot does the channels. Panama Canal pilot takes navigational control.

Changes. Old days sextons, now GPS systems. Can navigate by automatic pilot. Can set when want to arrive. Ship auto adjusts. Do courses with simulator every year in Amsterdam. Tested and assessed. Based a lot on airlines model.

Ships getting bigger and safer.

Met his Canadian wife on the Caribbean Princess. She was the scuba diving instructor.

His wife's favorite is Tahiti. His is Venice.

Nawilliwili is the most challenging port. Shanghai is extremely busy.

I

Had man overboard that he rescued.

1886 passenger ship act must go to a foreign port before entering US.

Produce clean water on ship. Make 75 tons of water an hour. Also desalination plant. Makes 450 tons a day. 1 gallon of fuel goes 36 feet.

Go thru 19 tons of food a day.

Works about 60% of the year. 3 mos on and 2 mos off.

Can cruise 3 weeks without refueling.

Stabilizers are put out from ship. Can't do anything with pitching movement front back up and down.

Have 36 captains in fleet.

2 doctors one for crew 3 paramedics and 2 nurses.

This is a formal night. We've got until 7:30 for the Captain's party.

BY INVITE CAPTAINS PARTY. 693 platinum 393 elite. We get a couple of free drinks, cheer the top sailing types--over a thousand nights--Omg!

DIN DIN.

We have the Honey and rum roasted big apple pineapple appetizer, strawberry coconut relish with ginger. I get it in my shirt an say if I have to drop anything on my fabulous silver shirt (which it must be said Mr. Blackwell himself in Palm Springs fingered it and gave the thumbs up. Really!) it might as well be this. B. Chateaubriand. "I think it's lovely. I'm surprised you don't like it. "I like it enough" R.  Not one but two lobster tails. (Lovely.) my Norman Love dessert is "so good". Brilliant. They're about to electrocute me. It's my last meal. I want this dessert! Besides it takes longer to electrocute a truly Fat guy.

We're a half hour early but apparently the 10 pm show is not as popular as the earlier one. So be it.

TUESDAY JANUARY 19.

When the stretch/abs instructor tries to correct my posture in the  plank position, I explain "Can't. Torn rotator cuff." "Ok." Might as well get some credit for my misery.

TV tells us that Donald Trump and Cruz are neck and neck in the early polls. As are Hilary and Bernie. And in this corner!

Breakfast. We both are having the fresh fruit plate. B. Eggs florentine. R. Bagel and lox (oops we call it Salmon here).

LECTURE:

Ferns first. Only way for volcanic material to become soil is for plants to drop leaves, make mulch.

Plants got first nutrients from rain.

Grew best in cracks. Made nitrogen by dropping leaves. Long process. Kawaii 6m years old--so garden isle.

Small bushes. Then trees. Ohia Legus trees (close spores when volcanic gasses occur and are moist to survive lava flows) different colors to attract different birds and also Koa trees. Hardy adapted. Honey creepers (only native birds) are nectar snifters.

Silver sword plant takes 20 years to bloom. Invasive animals ate them.

State flower is yellow hibiscus. Small flower--endangered. Birds adapted their beaks to the shape of the flowers. Blend into flower (color). Akohekohe bird feeds on particular hibiscus only and pollinates. They need one another.

Honey creepers--25 species extant. Different beaks. Probably blown over in hurricane at first, then adapted. 2 predators. Pueo owls. Unlike other owls, they hunt during the day. No rodents on island so hunt other birds. I'o hawk also hunts other birds.  Most birds don't migrate. Before man arrives birds are everywhere.

Nene is the state bird. Stays exclusively on islands.

Not many lakes in Hawaii (only one). So lose webbing between toes to walk on lava. Find ponds only in golf courses these days.

8,800 native species. Got here and survived in harmony on plants.

Only two mammals survived as native to Hawaii. Tree bat. Two of them came over on a log millions of years ago. The other is the monk seal. Spends most of its time on land unlike other seals. Only 1200 are left.  Sleep in the daytime.

Others all brought by man.

Hard to survive on islands with active volcanos. Big island trees are moist so don't catch on fire. Lava flow burns undergrowth but wraps around trees. Lava flows build up the island.

First 40 million years no plants or animals then another 40 million before man arrives.

1200 years ago Marques came. Just to Kawaii.  Just 500 years Polynesians have lived here. They Annihilated Marqueses and took over all of the islands. Killed any new travelers from Tahiti. Traveled 2400 miles. 250 years ago the English came. 800,000 people were living there when the English arrived. Brought invasive species e.g. mosquitos. Spaniards brought boars. No predators to keep them in check eg lions and tigers. Cattle multiplied and tore up the ecosystem. Big Island has 175,000 people but 1 million pigs. (Encourage luas.)

Invasive plants smother native plants.

When Hawaiians came over after spending 3 months on water and eating fish they found birds. Many species disappeared.

Birds were caught for their colorful feathers. Birdwatchers were high up in society because they made capes and hats for the Chiefs. 100,000 birds were needed for a cape. That's what happened to most of the honeycreepers.

Fashion played a big part in the disappearance of species (eg whalebone).

Capt Cook brought diseases. Whole villages died out. Island ecosystem is destined for extinction.

The 4 national parks on the big island protects species.

LECTURE. Menendez case.

Lyle suspended from Princeton. Eric (younger) and Lyle rob parents' friends houses. Eric takes blame. Gets psych counseling from Dr. Oriel.

Then Lyle back from Freshman  year under academic and disciplinary suspension.

Lived  in 23 bedroom house. Summer 1989 sons concerned they would be disinherited.

Bought shotguns in San Diego. Kill parents as they slept watching tv. She put back of hand up in disbelief. Call 911.

Alibi. Saw batman movie and returned to get false id to drink.

Spent 1m in the first 6 months.

Det Les Zoeller. Isolates Eric the weaker brother who confesses to Dr. Ozeal. Lyle threatens Dr. Ozeal. He treats them but is concerned for his safety. Tells his girlfriend. She goes to the police after falling out with Dr. Ozeal. Search warrant. Find tapes of conversations. But patient privilege. But appealed on basis of danger to psychotherapist.

The Appeal takes years. Only use the first tape. In custody without bail.

Each brother had separate jury which sat at the same time.

Ozeal is the key prosecution witness.

Defense: claimed physical, emotional and sexual abuse. But never told about sexual abuse to Dr. Ozeal.

Hung jury though every juror voted to convict. Couldn't agree as to degree.

He would have voted 2nd on Jose, 1st on Kitty.

2nd trial. Both tried by one jury. Not televised. Limited defense witnesses.

Prosecution didn't call Dr. Oziel.

Lyle not called. Eric is.

Jury finds 1st degree guilty.

Penalty phase.

Rejected death penalty. Life in prison without possibility of parole.

Joke. Boys would ask for mercy because they were orphans.

Brothers have not seen each other. Eric marries in prison.

The luncheon menu in the dining rooms doesn't hold appeal so about 1:30, after auditing political opinions from our "friends" (for so they seem to be) we go upstairs to the pool decks--where there is so much energy--for pepperoni and chile pizza--both delicious. A wait for our beers which always seems to be a problem with this sort of plan.

TIP. Next cruise Reuel sits at table ordering the beer whilst Bob goes for the pizza. Problem solved. (After 15 or so cruises you'd think we'd know all the solutions to these thorny issues.) I tell Bob that the pool band made me dance behind him as he searched for a table. He says "I saw you. I tried to get away from you."

CAUTIONARY TALE

At the spa we make an appointment for a couples Swedish message at 2 tomorrow ($245). We must see more opinions in advance of Sarah Palin's endorsement of Trump and we do.

Well seated at the cocktail hour preferred Skywaljets cocktail lounge is, in a word, a trip. There's my favorite, steak Tatare, though Bob gets to subsist on a variety of fabulous cheeses. Then there's the three servings of Chairmen  of the Board ( our server says that's him) up if you please like a martini. Whoopsi!

But Bob appreciates it's my playwrights ear as I strain to overhear the bizarre conversation of the folks adjacent to our fabulous mid bar perch on the sea. Two couples, one married 52 years. She's a tough tootie. He's fat and says what do I get for all these years. "You got diamonds, the house. The cars." She says you got a home cooked meal every night and now I have to take care of you. Of the two young women? One is divorcing her also Air Force husband who had been unfaithful with a "he/she" as the woman describes her. The older woman offers to help. The response is swift: "No!." And so it goes.

In the elevator a man says he noticed our double click of our glasses. We explain it's a ritual we saw in a movie.

(Actually "Longtime Companion's" two older lovers.) His wife enters and he tells her about it. We think they are really cool (as they probably we).

We're "home" @ at 7. No magician, ventriloquist or juggler for us tonight.

THURSDAY JANUARY 21.

This morning we get the window table!

I throw caution to the waves (having elypticaled, stretched and ab-ed) and have an apple muffin from the sweety boy flouncing about the dining room. Then a papaya (getting into that--not likely a future San Diego home choice) and a ham and cheese omelette. Food slow in coming today. I talk about the JFK playwriting contest. Too bad my category isn't 70 and above rather than 60 and above. The 60 types have the advantage of having their full faculties we joke.

READY FOR OUR COUPLES MASSAGE

Need to leave just as my eggs are arriving to the shock of our server. Zumba calls after all and I'm in time to dance to the pre Zumba video in my chosen space. Actually fewer dancers today because the clock has moved another hour ahead and we are on our natural Pacific time.

LECTURE. OCEAN.

All the land on the earth would fit in the Pacific Ocean. Largest body of water.

Water cold to warm. Warmest around the equator.

We weigh 1/4 pound less at equator. 26k miles diameter of earth.

Mar Pacifico . 1531 named.

This trip has been peaceful.

PO has largest hurricanes and tsunamis.

100's of ships have sunk in the Pacific.

Crest is the upper part of wave.

Lowest is called the trough

Wavelength. Horizontal distance between crests Fetch. Makes waves.

Trade winds used for navigation--steady. When stop--doldrums.

25000 islands in Pacific.

PO shrinking--subducting.

More volcanos under than over the ocean.

Deepest point on earth--Mariana Trench--6 1/2 miles deep. 1580 miles long.

1960 1st manned dive to depth.

Extremely dangerous. More so than going into space.

Tonga trench almost as deep.

Moon flight generator was dropped into the Tonga trench.

Pacific Ocean is the Oldest ocean

Great Barrier Reef. 1600 m long. Composed of 2900 reefs.

      All coral.

For 10,000 years oceans have been  rising (because we're at the end of an ice age) Coral grows in shallow areas--needs sunlight--so as the ocean rises so does coral.

1500 species of fish.

Dolphins. Brain is twice the size of ours.

Tropical storms tear up reefs.

Crown of thorns starfish--eat live part of the coral. Every 6 years.

Live in deep. Giant octopus. Giant clams.

71% of all seafood comes from the PO.

Blue whales are 120 ft long. Weigh 100 tons. 14000 lbs of blood. Bigger than dinasaurs. Twice as big as humpbacks. Around 30m years.

Give birth in the open ocean.

Baby calf 25 tons. Come up for air.

LECTURE. DEATH OF NATALIE WOOD. November 29, 1981.

Our lecturer Wrote Celebrity Justice.

Never a case filed. Not sufficient evidence to warrant a filing. D at 43. B 1938 of Russian Emigres.

Mother ultimate stage mother.

Tomorrow is Forever first film at 6.

Then

Miracle on 34th St.

During the filming of The Green Promise almost drowned and creatednightmares all her life Filmed Rebel Without a Cause at 16.

At 18th birthday dated Robert Wagner on his boat Married Dated Warren Beatty By age 25 had 3 Oscar nominations.

Splendour (after Splendor in the Grass) boat 60 ft. With dinghy "Valiant" thanksgiving weekend Making 1981 movie Brainstorm with Christopher Walken.

Fri night argument--she spends night at hotel but returns to the boat Sat.

Dine out-intoxicated

Wagner and Walken argue

She goes to thei bedroom

Wagner sees dinghy missing

Dinghy found in cave

Blood alcohol content is twice the legal limit Coroner--drowning, hypothermia 2011--reopen investigation Earlier Same story from 3 onboard But captain writes book--28 years later. Suggests that Wagner is responsible.

Another press conference. Closing investigation. Insufficient evidence.

Wagner Married 26 year anniversary to Jill St. John.

But death certificate has been changed."Other undetermined charges".

After the lecture we meet Raymond who has been wandering around on our deck. It happens that his partner of 5 years, John, has been up all night with some kind of stomach virus and is quarantined to his room. We gather together for lunch and have a most entertaining time finding out about Raymond and John. Raymond is a 40 year old Austrian attorney and lives in Vienna. John, 56, is retired (when he was 41) when the family air conditioning business was sold and lives in Austin Texas though they visit back and forth. We manage to consume a bottle of wine (Bob needs to go back upstairs for our wine card) and a full lunch with Spanicopita as the main course and we close the dining room chatting until 2:30.

I abandon Bob to his cabin to go up to the Movies Under the Stars presentation, Skyfall, starring Daniel Craig. I have the eerie feeling I've seen it before probably on an airplane.  Judi Dench and Ralf Fiennes, how bad can it be (could it have been?).

So we consume a bottle of wine with our Elysian club sandwiches through room service which arrives within 10 minutes of our order. "It's slow tonight", our room service waiter explains. We did look at the dinner Menu outside the DaVinci but this lazy repast seems the better choice.

FRIDAY JANUARY 22.

Surviving the Last day of the morning ritual of exercise.

Breakfast is a caution-to-the-winds high carb affair with a raisin muffin and salmon and bagel. And I've learned to ask for "a large pot of camomile tea." For the rest of my unnatural days when at sea.

After Zumba I ask Raymond how John (who was sick) is doing. He says he's free of the novovirus (which it was) and that he Raymond didn't get it even though they had sex (TMI!).

  

  We've been wondering when there's a cooking show (there were several on the Golden around South America) and here it is. Why is it that these guys are always kibitzers? Here the chef and maitre D' are both Italian and when I arrive  (wet from Zumba--forgot my change of tshirt--Bob is somewhere in the audience downstairs) they are making pasta. Lots of garlic and jokes about mothers-in-law ensue. Tiramisu is the topper. I meet Bob as we head up to our cabin rather than to the galley tour (which we've been on many times--even on this ship) and we decide that maitre d's and chefs apparently are required to attend comedy school. Noted when they introduce staff who crowd on the stage that the single female (who has often greeted us at our table in D'Avinci)  is the only female head waiter in the fleet. That's actually a disgrace.

     Not much time for R and R and to hear about the blizzard paralyzing the east coast (while Chris Christie insists on staying in New Hampshire to campaign) before its time for the LECTURE: The Twilight Zone tragedy.

In 1982 filmmakers didn't have the technology to separate dangerous effects from the actors.

Serious decision for prosecutor to charge a felony case.

John Landis b. 1950

Saw the 7th Voyage of Sinbad at age 8--determined to be a director.

Dropped out of high school in the 10th grade At 21 raised money to make and mount "Schlock" which singular phenomenon got him noticed.

Kentucky Fried Mpvie 1977. Then Animal House (1978). Grossed 200m on 3m budget.

'79 Blues Bros. infatuated with special effects (chase scenes) grossed 115m Considered boy wonder An American werewolf in London

Vic Morrow

Blackboard Jungle

TV: Combat. Highest paid tv actor

Bad News Bears

Twighlight Zone

WARNER Bros decided to do it in 4 segments Spielberg and Landis will do 2 segments. Landis wrote his own screenplay. 4 scenes. Morrow as Bigot who flees nazis, ku klux clan and Vietcong.

Hired the kids, supposed to be rescued by him, without a permit.

Fatal Scene with helicopter. Wanted everything in one frame. Helicopter hovering over Vic Mortow carrying the kids. But an  Explosion damaged the rotor blade of the helicopte and lands on the three. Decapitated Moreow and the boy, girl crushed.

It took 11 months before a decision is made to charge in the case.

5 charges. 5 defendants. Involuntary manslaughter. Gross negligence for 3 deaths. Failure to obtain labor law exclusions. Associate producer. Unit Production mgr., special effects coordinator, pilot WARNER Bros hired best lawyers.

Judge dismissed charge of not getting permits. Rose cuter Gary Kesselman Appealed that and it was reinstated.

Prosecutor replaced.

Trial 1986.

Technician incriminated himself but had immunity.

John Landis threw technicians under then bus.

Jury acquitted defendants.

Landis had success after Twilight Zone.

Civil suits. Settled.

Gary Kesselman. First prosecutor. Arrested with prostitute and for choking wife.

Finally get to gamble. (Wanted to learn process actually; involves inserting your room key--the rest is a bafflement. Little explosions and bursts occur.) I bet $10 and get back $11.56 which means we've won $1.56--almost a third of the cost of a happy hour drink in Skywalkers. And I'm hooked.

At last a martini demonstration in the piazza.

LUNCH. We take a photo with Anna our charming Ukranian dining room hostess--always smiling.

R. Ghoulish soup. London broil. Bob. Salad and London broil.(it works.)

3:30 Faff gives a talk on Ensenada in the Explorer's lounge. We are anxious to know if it's worth getting off the boat as we have in the past.

Does an interesting bit on sea lions.

Grey whales are coming down the Baha to get to the Sea of Cortez. Feed along the bottom of the sea floor. Scoop out the sand for the small fish there.

    Sometimes a pod (several hundred) of Dolphins follow the ship's wake. Travel in layers jumping up to breathe. Very social. Have names for one another.

    La Bufadora. Big spray. Takes 45 minutes to get there.

Perfect way to spend pre-dress up: jacuzzi--which is gratefully hot, steam and sauna. There I strike up a conversation with the older (yuh like) gay man who is in my stretch class and who we've seen at tea. Though he lives in Canada he's originally from South Africa. So nice to be well traveled to have conversation. Talk about our gay tour of Southern Africa 14 years ago (when I was 60--didn't mention that specific fact) the safaris in Zambia, the carefulness required in Zimbabwe --no hand holding, no "camping" or God knows what dire consequences for our group. How he needs to visit family in SA and therefore gets free board (Bob noticed his very expensive watch at tea; I his expensive face lift) and so the conversation continues apace--nice to connect

Bob on his iPhone reports there have been 6000 cancelled flights because of the blizzards. We wonder how our fellow passengers will fare in their post-ship travel plans. We've got a "car" to balmy San Diego, thank you very much. (Sorry.)

Wonderful that we get our fabulous seats over the ocean at Skywalkers with our Indian waiter. He knows that we want Chairmen of the Board. Though Bob asks him again where he's from. Long live Chairman of the Board times two. Very pleasant and Pleasant ruminations.

Amazing! It's 7:15 and there are almost no seats for the 8 0'clock show! It's a special for Princess created by Steven Schwartz (Pippin and Wicked) "Magic To Do". Looks like he's not written any new music but this will be a kind of retrospective of his work judging from the program.

To quote Bob as we sit for dinner. "Steven Schwartz is real shit." Perhaps hyperbolic. Bob actually followed a story line. Couple has a baby who grows up to be a man who has a baby. Who knew? Needs a little more sharpening.

DINNER.

The dining room is sparse. Perfect timing dining at 9:15. R. Escargots. It works, escargots in a brown (bouginon) sauce. Excellent.  Bob Thai spring roll. (So-so). We both have Boston endive salad with balsamic vinegar. Our server takes my lobsters and shrimps out of the shells. I say, you've done this before? He says, two years Harvard. Bob's beef Wellington is "Amazingly good. Tender and cooked exactly the way I wanted it." Norman Love dessert is of course fabulous. Chocolate pistachio done with almond nougatine.

And we are the last diners except for two old ladies who have trouble getting up--come to think of it, so do we.

SATURDAY JANUARY 23

We're all old friends after the stretch + abs class. I chat with my South African friend who will be going ashore today and Joe from Boston who with his party of 8 is continuing onto the Mexican Riviera cruise with the Ruby instead of trying to fly back to Boston which is probably impossible given the current blizzard (sorry Nor'easter) conditions.

At breakfast Bob says "a disgraceful amount of food". Nevertheless we consume the excellent Mexican omelette, Bob's with bacon, every nitrate of which he loves, and Reuel's with sausage. Throw in a couple of pastries for bad measure. Bob thinks we may explode. I note that of the vast plethora of walking balloons aboard I've yet to see one explosion but would not want to be in the vicinity if one occurs.

I talk of my difficulty in stretch class with my arthritis, my knees and my disabled arm. Bob."It's the result of a life well spent." Reuel: "I'd like to think that's true."

At the concierge desk I discover that I must collect my gambling "winnings" from the casino cashier. Happily.

Discussion as to whether we will venture ashore.

Great crowd scene trying to get off the ship just as they have an emergency drill. Snail crawling. Problem with the gangplank moving apparently and an abundance of caution.

Turning into a major production this snail pace moving toward the moving gangplank.

BEAUTIFUL (?) DOWNTOWN ENSENADA

CAUGHT.

On the shuttle bus woman from DC says she'll have to stow aboard. One wag says maybe if they used the hot air from Congress to melt the snow she could get back.

"Something for the neighbor's wife." Is the most strange come-on as we attempt to avoid the shills in front of the tacky stalls and shops along the main tacky street. We walk back and vow, as we've done before, to stay onboard should we ever stop in Ensenada again.

We see My SA friend. "Isn't it absolutely chock full of essentials?" he says. "I'm sorry I didn't bring my shopping bag," I reply.

We're a half hour early for the 1 pm movie Bridge of Skies in the Wxplorer's Lounge and the best seats are gone. We're able to capture some good ones at the last moment however.

A long movie at 2 1/2 hours. Tom Hanks reliably excellent as the Everyman good guy who the government assigns to work an exchange between the soviet spy played by the perfect Mark Rylance (our favorite stage actor) and Gary Powers. A little stacked in sentimental favor of the hero attorney-Hanks and a strangely soft effort for the writers, the Coen Brothers. But the 60's cold war atmosphere is brilliantly rendered and the feel good denouement satisfies.

Bob packs our stuff and I ascend upstairs to soak in the jacuzzi, take the steam etc.--an appropriate and equitable distribution of labor it should be said.

Back--he's almost finished packing. Since we're "walk-offs--we don't need to set our luggage outside our cabin door for collecting.

Our obligation rather is to have final Chairmen of the Board drinks at Skywalkers. Dennis our Indian waiter is so pleased with his tip that he chats at length with us about cruising on Princess. Our lovely older woman Beverly Hills friend chastises us for not saying hello earlier today--who knew. She clearly knows a gay couple's capacity to bond with such as her.

I'm considering trying out for the Voice of the Ocean contest on a future cruise so I cajole Bob to see the finals show. He's appalled but I need to do reconnaissance work. Am I in the league for this? As a young man I was "the" concert singer on an ocean liner but I'm a few (46?) years older so we'll see what the standards are for this. Answer: not high. In fact embarrassing in some instances. But it's fun. 8 contestants. Lots of razzmatazz as Princess reproduces the format--"coach" judges including, here, the charming and diplomatic Captain--of The Voice tv show for which Princess paid a hefty fee.

Singing Happy Retirement to You at one of the tables.R. Appetizer seafood trio. Like. And the strong steak of course. Bob. Condone. Not special.

We strike up a conversation with the neighboring table couple from Chicago (they are optimistic that they'll catch a plane back since Chicago is not suffering from the great blizzard immobilizing the east coast but they are willing to go with the flow.) We discover that these grandparents spend weekend evenings dancing in discos into the wee hours of the morning and then go out for a sunrise breakfast. You can't judge a book . . . Anyway, we are the last to leave the dining room and the last to leave an empty bottle of wine, our 10 bottle wine card having been well used indeed.

SUNDAY JANUARY 24.

Going home morning.

"That James Beard. He makes a fine French past." Acknowledgement from Bob of our main breakfast dish to energize us for disembarkation.

After waiting in a lounge we drag our bags down ramps and along walkways and are out on the street at 8:15 well in advance of our 9 AM pickup time. And there's Mike our driver who gets us home in an hour and 45 minutes. Nothing like this mode of transportation (even if it costs about $500 round trip). We're home! Great holiday. 

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